part 15

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he looked up at me with his tired looking eyes. he didn't look like himself.
"you came," he quietly said.

"did you write me this note?" i asked him, concerned and confused.

he stood up and began slowly walking towards me, his head kept down and his eyes shifting up and down from me to his feet. "yeah, i waited for you," he said.

"wha- why? are you okay? how long have you been waiting here for?"

he finally halted to a stop in front of me but remained silent.

"alex, please just.. just talk to me. what did you mean by 'did you ever feel the butterflies too'?"

he took a deep breath and looked up. "i know it really doesn't seem like it but whenever i see you it's like all my troubles disappear and my only trouble in that moment is thinking of losing you."

"what the hell are you talking about? i'm serious alex, you're worrying me." i looked deeply into his eyes and he looked into mine. he was telling the truth. but why? "but... you hate me. how could you say that when every moment we're together, you ignore me. you can't even look at me."

he shook his head and took a small step closer, slightly smirking. "yeah, it looks like that but with every chance i get- every single time you're looking away, i'm admiring you."

what the hell is going on? i felt myself tensing up. all of a sudden i could feel and hear my own heart beating out of my chest. "... that's bullshit, alex... you can't just-"

he kept moving closer towards me but i was stiff, unable to move. i watched his eyes as they trailed down to my lips. i shouldn't have let it happen but i did. he gently placed his lips against mine and cupped my head in his hands. it was wrong but it felt so right. i had wanted nothing more than to have this moment with him.
but that was the past.

i pushed him off and stood in shock. "you know this isn't right. you can't be fucking serious."

he took a step back and let out a breath of air which came out as a mix of scoff and a laugh. "you know that levi isn't who he says he is."

"what the fuck do you mean?"

"you know that he's fucked in the head."

"alex.. stop."

"you know he's been lying to you."

"shut up..."

"you know he's the one who has your diary."

"you're wrong. shut the fuck up!"

"no! because you know i'm right!" he said. he looked to the side and ran a hand down the back of his head in frustration. "do you even know where he is right now? how long has he been gone? i bet the son of a bitch is out there jerking off to your fantasies or some shit."

"you're a fucking asshole, alex," i breathed out, shaking my head in disbelief of what he was saying as i tried to hold back the tears. the back of my throat burned like hell. i felt like i could break down and shatter at any moment.

"don't you get it?" he said. "he is literally studying you, y/n. he's reading about all the shit you like and dislike so that he can be the so-called 'perfect' guy for you because this is all just a little game to him. this is what he finds pleasure in."

my stomach felt like it dropped to the floor. i felt sick. "how the hell would you even know that? you don't even know him let alone speak to him."

"after the shit that happened at the movie night, i don't need to. he told me about what he was doing when i found him scavenging through your room because he thought you would never believe me."

i couldn't believe it. i didn't want to believe it. i shook my head as i began slowly walking backwards. alex's hand reached out to me and his expression changed after realising how upset i was but i quickly turned around and left the room, shutting the door to let him know not to follow me.
i paced quickly down the hallway, breathing heavily as my mind raced with thoughts about what had just happened; about alex's feelings, about his kiss, about levi.

"hey, y/n," aksel said as i passed him. he must have been going back to his room. "hey, wait, are you okay?"

i felt like i couldn't breathe no matter how deep my breaths were. all i wanted to do was be alone. i rushed to my room and let myself in, feeling the tears instantly well up in my eyes as i shut the door but of course, i still wasn't alone. levi had returned and he sat on the bed on his phone whilst eating the other burger aksel had bought us. he looked up at me but i didn't want to let him see me like this so i rushed into the bathroom and locked the door.

"y/n? are you okay?" i heard him softly knocking on the door.

finally, and silently, i began to break down. "levi, where were you?" i forced out in between breaths.

"hey, is that what this is about?" he started laughing. "did you miss me that much? i was only gone for a few hours."

"this isn't funny. where the fuck were you?!" i had the things alex said about him drowning my mind but i hoped to god they weren't true.

he went silent for a few seconds. "i'm sorry, y/n... i should have told you i was going out but i didn't think i'd really be out for that long. i just went out to explore a little since i've never been in la before but got distracted... i'm sorry, okay? i didn't mean to worry you. it won't happen again."

"i shouldn't have come here," i whispered.

"don't say that." i could hear from his voice that he was pressing up against the bathroom door. "hey, can you open the door for me?"

hesitantly, i did so and he came in to instantly hold me in his arms and wipe away my tears.

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wow okay so this is a very long heavy dramatic part and even writing this annoyed me because of how over the top it is lol
i originally planned for alex and y/n's part to be more wholesome but uhh clearly it took a BIG TURN HAHAHHA
anyway, hope you guys enjoyed it anyway :)

edit: oh my word we're #2 in quackity right now

edit: oh my word we're #2 in quackity right now

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