Blind Fate

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

"What?" I question, not believing what I had heard. I plop down onto the bed, my knees giving out on me. My whole body feels numb.

"I was going to tell you." I close my eyes, taking a deep breath. I couldn't even look at her without wanting to burst out into tears.

"When?"

"What?" She asks, not having heard my low tone.

"When were you going to tell me, Ash?" My voice is demanding, demanding her to tell me this is all a joke. That she isn't actually sick and the pills are actually tic tacs to help her case of bad breath.

"I-I just-" she stutters, her voice sounding like she's on the brink of tears. "After your dinner at Becca's, Ian, I swear. But then things got crazy and I didn't want to add to your stress." I open my eyes, feeling angry still.

"Add to my stress? Damnit, Ash, you think hiding it would help me? Did you think you were going to keep quiet about it until you eventually died, leaving me without saying bye? That's not how this family thing is supposed to work, Ash, we don't keep secrets." She starts crying, sitting on the bed beside me.

"I know, I'm sorry. I didn't know how to tell you." I close my eyes, not wanting to see my aunt cry.

"Does Max know?" I ask through clenched teeth. I hear a small cry before she answers.

"No. She doesn't know a thing." I then open my eyes, getting to my feet. I think I'm going to stumble from how weak I feel, but I don't.

"You're going to be the one to tell her. You are going to explain to your 10 year old niece that you're dying. Are you at least getting chemo?" She looks down, answering my question just with that motion. "So then you can also explain to her that you aren't doing anything about it."

"It's too late, Ian. Chemo won't help. That's why I'm not on it," she cries, reaching for my hand. I close my eyes again as she holds my hand tight.

"I just need a minute." I open my eyes, meeting her pleading ones. She was pleading me to understand. But right now I didn't understand anything. I pull my hand out of hers. "I'll be back." I begin to walk away, hearing her get up and follow me.

"Ian, where are you going? You're putting yourself in danger of-"

"No!" I shout, turning around to face her. "You don't get to tell me what danger is. You lied to me. You can't expect me to be okay with this. I never will be. Newsflash, you're the only other family I have left. That's it. Without you, I'm right back to where I started, a clueless single dad who has no idea what the fuck he's doing. I need a damn minute to process that. If I'm putting myself in danger, so be it. But I just need to leave for a minute. I can't- I can't be around you." I turn around before the first tear falls. I stalk down the hall and this time, Ashley doesn't follow me.

Amanda is standing just at the edge of the hall, looking confused. "Ian?" She questions but I just walk past her, blinded by my anger. How could she do this? How could she not tell me about this? Did she think she could just leave this world without any of us knowing?

I angrily push open the door to the room. I hear the door shut behind me and I grab at my hair, pulling at it as I attempt to wrap my head around what just happened.

"Ian, what happened?" Amanda asks, concern lacing her words. I don't answer, shrinking down to my knees as I begin crying uncontrollably. I was angry, for sure. But mostly, I was angry at the fact that I was going to lose her. I was going to lose my aunt. My aunt was dying and all I've done was dump my daughter on her to help a girl. Her hand is placed lightly on my arm and I flinch away.