Show me love.

Twenty One

"No! No please!" I cry helplessly,my grip tightening on the white towel in my hand. "Please! I'll do anything, please!" 

"Frankie!" 

His screaming made my heart more than the fear from knife wielding maniac only feet away. I couldn't breathe, the heaviness on my chest making me pant in panic. He thumped the door, shouting louder and louder in desperate cries. 

"Please." I beg. "We can sort this. It was never meant to be this way - you're a good person, I know you are."

"You know nothing!" 

I flinch at the outburst, a fresh batch of tears streaming down my cheeks. I saw the blade shake. 

"You're the reason." The voice was robotic, almost like it had been programmed, and the face became blurry as the quick lunge forward took away my breath and held me dangling in front of death. The deep red liquid pooled at my feet. "You were always the reason."

I choke for a gasp of air, springing from the pillow and being caught into the soft embrace. A familiar smell. A comforting whisper. 

It was a dream. All a dream. 

"Fucking hell Frankie, these are getting worse." He murmurs to me. He gently glides his hand across my tangled mane of air dried hair. The room was dark and only the glow of the bedside table lamp casted a shadow over us both. “We need to see someone about these.” 

I shake and my heart hammers painfully. I don’t respond to him, instead I allow him to hold me for a few more minutes longer to let his presence soothe me. It was bizarre how Jason calmed me just by being close - he didn’t even need to speak. He was like my comfort blanket that I hid under and relied on more than I probably should. 

“Okay?” He murmurs into my hair as my death grip weakens. I nod and feel his own body relax now he knew I was fine and calmer. “Want to talk about it?” 

I never spoke to him about my dream, and as recurring as it was, I still never spilled a thing. He never pestered me about it either. He was understanding and never pushed, he left it when I shook my head and smiled to distract me away from the haunting thoughts. 

I shake my head. “I’m fine.” 

I wasn’t and he knew that. 

I climb from bed, dragging myself to the bathroom and splashing my face with icy water to cool myself and scare away the thoughts. My skin stung from coldness and when I returned to the bedroom, Jason was re-entering with a glass of orange juice. 

“Thank you.” I mutter quietly. With a soft sigh, he embraces me again and pulls me close as the time ticks past four-am. “Sorry.” 

“You’ve nothing to be sorry for.” He tells me with a soft chuckle. “As long as you’re okay.” 

“It's your birthday.” I tell him quietly, a gentle smile worming it’s way onto my lips and my stomach tightening in excitement. "Happy birthday."

"Thank you." He laughs sleepily, throwing an arm behind his head. 

“Do you want to do anything?” I ask him, feeling the jitters in my stomach. “Anything at all?” 

“Absolute nothing.” He says, trailing his fingers along my arm. “As long as I’m with you, it’ll be the best birthday I’ve ever had. Honestly, with everything that’s gone on the past few weeks I would happily spend it just us here in bed, maybe even ring a chinese for dinner too.” 

“Well I have something planned for you.” I tell him shyly. He moves backwards and cranes his neck downwards, a soft smile planted on his lips. “Don’t ask me what it is. I’m not telling you, you’ll need to wait until it’s a sensible hour before you can start guessing.”