Tainted : Book 1

CHAPTER 15 : War Of Hearts

"I can't," I said slumping into my bed. 

    "You have to," Abby argued as she settled next to me. I grabbed a pillow hugging it close to my chest. 

      "But I can't even do magic," I whined as I stuck out my bottom lip into a pout. Abby rolled her eyes at my childish display. 

      "That's why you have to learn," she explained, tearing the pillow from my grip and tossing it at my headboard. 

      "Why are they making me do this?" 

      "The council believes that you'll be much safer if you are able to protect yourself. I think it's a good idea," it made sense, if I did have powers wouldn't it be better if I knew how to use them. However the prospects of using those abilities scared me. I was a tad bit afraid of magic, even my own. 

      "Well I think it's a bad one," I huffed as I laid on the bed. 

      "Would you rather be a sitting duck?" She asked and I shook my head. "Good, so you're starting your lessons tomorrow after school." 

      "Fine," I grumbled. "Can we do our homework now?" Not that I wanted to do homework, I just wanted to change the subject. We managed to focus on our work for five minutes before one of us derailed. 

        "Have you talked to Adrian?" Abby randomly asked twirling her pen between her fingers. It had been days since our last conversation and considering how badly that went, I doubted that there would be another one anytime soon.

         "Nope," I said feigning nonchalance. 

         "You know he's really sorry, right?" She said dropping her pen onto the bed as she locked eyes with me. 

         "Yeah," I said dropping my gaze, my tone was regretful, "but I can't forgive him,"

        "But you forgave me," she argued and I shrugged.

        "It's different," she rose a brow but I just sighed exasperatedly picking up her pen for her, "let's just get back to work," I said handing it to. 

         "Okay," she sighed as she submitted to my request, "but you should know he really does likes you, he wasn't pretending. He wouldn't do that."

         Oddly, I believed that, Adrian liked me, but was that enough? Could I trust him again. I forgave Abby for the same crime easily. Why was it so different for him? She could have very well told me about my mother, but she didn't. However I understood that she had a duty to uphold. The same duty as Adrian. Maybe I was being too stubborn. 

         It's just his secrecy felt more of a betrayal because he knew how much my mother meant to me and he still kept silent. Maybe I was being silly. Was my reluctancy justified or was I being petty?

        Did I like him enough to forgive him? 

       If he really did like me, did that mean that I was hurting him by refusing to forgive him? I felt a pit in my stomach. I didn't want him to hurt. I didn't want to hurt him. I never did.

       And it wasn't as if this whole situation wasn't hurting me too. I missed him. Just being around him, I missed that. It was so hard to be so close to him but having to keep my distance. Yeah, maybe this whole thing was silly. I wanted to put aside everything and just run to him. But I also knew I couldn't do that.

      But why? Why was I holding onto the hurt so tightly? He didn't deserve this, and I needed to get that through my head.

       I returned my focus to my book, "what did you get for question five?"