Tainted : Book 1

Epilogue : Deep End

He closed his eyes tightly, wishing he could be anywhere other than where he was. But when he opened them again he was still there, surrounded by people dressed in black. He blended in quite well with his own dreary dark attire. This couldn't be happening, not again.

He felt robbed. Why was life constantly taking away the people he loved most? He'd lost his mother at the age of ten, now eight years later he'd lost his boyfriend, Adrian.

Why did it feel like everything had gone full circle? Didn't it all start with a funeral quite like this one? The day his mother had died was one of the worst days of his life, he never thought he'd ever feel pain quite like that again. But he was wrong, the universe proved him wrong. The day he lost Adrian was the worst day of his life. The pain he felt in the moments after his last breath was unmatchable.

It was like being set on fire, flames eating away at his flesh, his bones hissing and crackling as the fire devoured them too. Feeling as if his body remained as nothing more than a pile of ash.

It was like dying but still living. Breathing without a soul. He wasn't a part of this world, not anymore. He felt like a shell, a hallow shell. Every ounce of hope, joy, love and dreams scooped out of him. He moved through the funeral just like a zombie. A dead man among the dead.

The service was lovely, not that he noticed. He stood surrounded by Adrian's friends and family. Abigail, Adrian's best friend, his best friend as well, stood next to him, her arm wrapped around his, tears streaming down her cheeks. She felt like she'd been crying for days, but the tears never let up. Every time she felt she was pulling herself together, something reminded her of him and it was waterworks all over again.

She felt responsible, she was the team leader, after all. She should have been strong, done something more to make sure this never happened. She let him down, let Marcus down, let the council down. She was a failure as an Anukan, guardian. Her best friend was dead, and she couldn't help thinking that it should have been her.

Adrian was a better guardian. He always was. He was top of every class, he deserved to be the Imik, leader. She had no idea why council member Russ choose her. Even Paige was a better witch. Both of them were clearly more qualified, this incident proved it all. She'd messed up. And Adrian had paid the price.

She squeezed Marcus' hand as if the gesture would convey how sorry she was. She received no response. But it was to be expected. Marcus had been like this since they found him clutching onto Adrian's body. He wouldn't say what had happened after she was knocked unconscious. He wouldn't say anything.

Marcus was gone. Or at least trapped. He felt trapped. He was in his mind, a world where the colors were warped, only shade of grey existed. The rain poured nonstop. He sat on dead grass, his arms wrapped around his legs, knees pulled up to his chest. He let the rain drenched him, he let it mingle with his tears until he couldn't tell if he was still crying or it was just the rain drops.

This world of glum was his prison now, there were no cell doors. No locks, just an infinite wall of bars. He wanted his boyfriend back. Death couldn't be the end. He would have done anything to get him back.

He was losing himself, his being. He couldn't see himself anymore. He was drowning in grief, pain that didn't dissipate. How could he ever recover from this? He couldn't recover, he couldn't get over this. There was no next page to his story. This was the end, he couldn't go on without Adrian.

There was no illusion that he could be strong. He wasn't strong, they told him he could be. His mother, Adrian too, but he couldn't do it. He succumbed to pain, it washed over him like acid rain, burning holes into his flesh, but he didn't flinch. He, for some reason felt he deserved pain. After all, it was all his fault.

Adrian was protecting him.

Adrian died protecting him. Now a father had lost his son. Adrian's father, Isaac North stood up front, giving his last words to his son. To honor him, to say goodbye. Adrian had been just a boy, the bravest one most of the people in this small town had ever known, but he was just a boy and now he was gone.

Death was cruel like that. He wasn't selective, he took who he took and never apologized. Loved or hated, death visited every doorstep. The funeral was over, the body had been lowered, the eulogy given and tears shed. The crowd was dispersing when a dark haired stranger decided to make his appearance.

Only he wasn't a stranger, not to anyone at the funeral, not never the boy who had never met this man. Marcus turned his head along with everyone else. His face was was familiar, but it was his eyes that caught his attention. Forest green orbs he could have sworn he'd stared into a thousand times.

They were eyes he fell in love with, on the face of a man he'd never encountered, well outside of a picture frame. Marcus knew immediately who this man was. Adrian's brother.

His dark hair was curly, his jaw sharp with a hint of a five o'clock shadow. He was tall at about 6'2 feet. He came to stand next to his father.

"That's Michael, Adrian's older brother," Abby whispered to Marcus, he simply nodded and went back to observing the stranger. Those eyes where a cruel reminder of what he'd lost. When they landed on him he stared blankly at them. Almost in a challenging manner. Michael was the first to tear his gaze away.

He patted his father's back hoping it'd give him comfort. He wasn't good at this whole emotional thing, never was. However he couldn't say this whole thing didn't upset him. Of course it did, Adrian was his brother. Even though Michael clearly knew that Adrian absolutely despised him, they were still brothers. And he would morn his brother.

Harrod drove his young master home. Marcus sat quietly in the back seat staring out the window. He felt sorry for the young boy, he seemed so much in pain. He hated seeing his young master like this again. Losing his mother was hard enough for the child and now losing this boy that he was sure meant a great deal to the boy, was just heart breaking. He was too young to know this kind of loss. But then again what could Harrod do? Just like when Marcus lost his mother, the poor butler was powerless to help. He was only human, now.

It was snowing by the time they got home. The first snowfall of the season. Marcus didn't even notice as he numbly stepped out of the car. He walked up the stone steps, Harrod following behind. Once inside he went up to his room without a word.

He wanted to be alone, and he felt that maybe he was destined to always be alone. Maybe it was for the better. He couldn't let anyone else get hurt. He thought he was cursed, and maybe he was right.

TO BE CONTINUED...