Canyon Moon: The Making of the 2019 Album, Fine Line {H.S}

Cherry

October 5th 2019

{"I confess I can tell that you are at your best. I'm selfish, so I'm hating it..."}

There's about 2 months and 7 days away from the album release and I've still got a few songs left to write. I left Solana Beach a month and 17 days ago, but it feels like a lifetime. Before, LA at least had some charm to it. Now, it all just seems grey and it blends together. 

The album's almost ready to go and we're releasing the first single in less than a week. I even spot a few ads for it on my walk to the coffee shop closest to the studio. I didn't notice them yesterday.

I keep my sunglasses on as I enter the coffee shop. The smell of coffee still reminds me of her. 

"I'll have a iced latte with almond milk, please." I tell the barista. 

"Can I have a name for this?" She asks.

"Ed." I say. I didn't used to lie about my name, but now, all people do is ask about the album when they recognize me and I just don't know what to tell them. The barista gives me a funny look as she's writing my name down, but knows better not to say anything.

As I walk away to wait for my coffee, I hear a voice behind me, "Harry?" I turn around to see caramel colored skin and a heap of black curls. 

"Tommy!"

"It's so good to see you!" She says as she pulls me into a hug. It really is nice to see her. She's just about the only person from Solana I didn't completely screw over in my departure. But, she's her best friend, so she's probably pissed at me, too, but she does a good job at hiding it.

"You too. What are you doing here?"

"Oh, I got a job with Revolve Clothing. It's an office position and it's only for a few months, nothing huge. How have you been, though?" 

"Good, good. The album's coming out soon, so it's been stressful."

"Oh, right." She says, with a hint of disappointment. She knows as well as I do that this album coming out means a lot more than what it is. 

"So, how is everyone? Back in Solana, I mean." I ask. I do want to know about everyone, but really I'm only asking about one person.

"Good! Me and Adam are still going strong. Sam's still at the coffee shop." I see a hint of sadness start to creep in. I know she knows who I'm really asking for, "Annie's good, too."

"Good." I say, but I only half mean it.

I see something brewing in her mind. I can tell she's contemplating whether or not to tell me something.

"Um, I don't know if I should be the one to tell you this, but..." She pushes out, "I think you should know. Since you left, in like, late September, Annie and Noah have...they got back together."

"Oh." I thought this might happen, but I didn't want to believe it would.

"Yeah." There's a pause in the conversation. Tommy and I both wish things were different. We both wish I would never have left. Except, I know I had no option. I don't know what she thinks.

"She's happy, Harry. They're happy together. I didn't think she would be for a while." She says, "You should be happy, too. You deserve it." 

I try to form words, but it doesn't happen. I just let out a sigh. Part of me hoped that even after what I did, the door on Annie and I would still be left open a little bit. That we still might end up together after everything. But the door was just slammed shut and locked for good. I know I should tell Tommy that I'm happy for Annie. That I'm happy she's happy. But, if I'm being honest, I'm not and I know that makes me selfish.

"Ed, your coffee's ready!" The barista calls out from behind the bar. Saved by the bell, I guess.

"Um, that's me. It's really good to see you again, Tommy." I say as I grab my coffee.

"You, too. Give me a call if you ever want to grab lunch or something, yeah?" She asks.

"Of course. See you around." I say, then exit the shop.

 As I start my walk back to the studio, I pull out my phone, plug in my headphones, and hit play on a memory. It's an old voice memo from July, from Solana. I always record myself playing melodies on the guitar for future reference. But, this one's my favorite. 

"Shouldn't you be working on your songs?" She asks as I lay a trail of kisses down her neck.

"Nooo, I've got all the time in the world." I say and she giggles. We've been in bed all morning, neither of us daring or wanting to be the first to leave. I loved being in this room with her. Everything was light and bright and made everything feel almost like a dream that I never wanted to wake up from.

She escapes my grasp and grabs my guitar laying next to the bed, "Just play for a minute. I have to call my aunt, anyways." 

"Ughhhh, why do you have make me work on a day like this?"  I groan.

"I'm keeping you honest." She says as she plants a kiss on my head and rolls out of bed. Secretly, I love when she calls her relatives in France. I only know a few phrases in French, but she speaks it fluently and I think it's beautiful when she does.

I turn on the voice recorder app on my phone and start to play.

"Coucou!" She greets her aunt. I continue to play, but only mindlessly. I can't take my eyes off of her. She slowly paces around the room, making my shirt that she wears over her bra and underwear flow behind her. 

"Tu dors?" She asks and stops in her tracks, "Oh, je suis désolée..."  She looks at me and mouths 'She was asleep'. She laughs and I let out a small chuckle.

"Bah non, non, c'est pas important." She laughs, "Bon allez.." She tucks a piece of hair behind her ear, "On a été à la plage et maintenant on—" She pauses. 

"Parfait!" She says, hangs up, and looks back at me. I stop playing and turn off the voice recorder. I'm done playing for now, at least for as long as this woman has my attention.

"She said she'd call me back later." She says as she crawls back into bed. 

"Parfait, indeed." I say, imitating a french accent, which makes her laugh. I make a mental promise to myself to make her laugh as much as I can so I can keep hearing the sound as I pull her back into my arms and onto my lap.

"You know," I say between kisses, "when you speak in French?  Really turns me on, did you know that?"

"Oh, does it?" She laughs as I turn her over onto the bed. 

I take out my headphones and put my phone back into my pocket. That memory makes me smile, it still does. Even if I never see her again, my time with her still makes me smile. 

I feel it begin to rain. Now, I'm not sure if this day could get any worse. On the bright side, I do have an idea for a song.