Sisters torn apart by the fragility of the heart, how can love possibly hurt so much?
Hana Junaid decided two years ago, distance would make her younger sister Hanaan more independent but Hanaan's love and yearning for Hana during this time has drow...
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Voice Recording 01
Recorded: 26th June Wednesday
Hi there, Hana.
Things must be bad if you're listening to this, and I must be in some terrible place of my own to not say this all myself. But that is the real dilemma, is it not?
I have been wanting to talk to you for real all this time, to actually talk to you the way we used to before we burned out on each other; camping together on my mattress, having sent Mama and Baba off to a date night dinner because they needed the romantic break and put Dadi to sleep after watching some awesome Pixar movie with her. The way we would discuss anything and everything, what to bake next, ways we could make money and go on a solo trip together to Turkey and ride the hot air balloons in Cappadocia. How we could start our own bakery of sweet delicacies, build a posh little patisserie at the corner of some famous rich street, dress like boss ladies with aprons embossed with our names and golden hairnets on our heads, hand out with each order the most cute little napkins again signed with our names and even before we'd reach to open up our bakery in the morning, there'd be a line waiting to devour your love filled treats. However, time has a funny way of showing us the future is never as sweet as we envision it to be.
What a tragedy!
And you're at the hospital now with your friends, a Wednesday morning, late June, you could be here with me instead but you're colouring with cancer fighting kids over there and that's good, they need more brightness in their miserable lives but Hana, I'm your sister and as selfish as it sounds, shouldn't I come first?
This is absolutely bizarre and psychotic of me and I don't know what more to call it, me talking to myself pretending to be talking to you and even recording it but it's been a long fricking time. Why have we not reconciled yet? Is this forever? Is this how Hana and Hanaan comes to an incomplete end? Didn't Anna and Elsa have such a distance too before they got back together but then again, they went through a lot, Anna nearly froze to death and it was Elsa's fault in some way but here, it's the opposite, it's my fault instead. I'm sorry I lashed out at you like that but you lashed right back at me and ever since we've been on silent shoulder treatment but isn't twenty four months enough for a winter so cold it is making all parts of me dead with your frostbite?
There, I just don't even know how to say it. I keep pointing all the fingers of blame at you even though I don't mean to. I am sorry we had to fall out like this. I'm sorry I made you feel insecure about yourself because you thought you made me feel insecure about myself and maybe just a little bit I was too but that was stupid of me. That was immature of me, that was me just being cranky, Hana.
Why didn't you knock some sense into me and tell me to find myself and be my own unique self or some stupid advice like that which would have worked in that time? But you didn't and I'm not trying to blame you here again but yes, Hana, I do blame you for not coming back to me the way you always did, like the elder, responsible, compromising sister you always were and made me so used to relying over. I told you to stay away from me and let me be myself when we fought that evening, the fight of our miserable lives, the Fight, but it was not what I meant at all.
