Chapter 10

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Voice Recording 02

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Voice Recording 02

Recorded: 5th July Friday

Hola, Hana!

You may want to hold on tight for this one, I am steaming up in here where my literally damaged brain sits and how can I not be when it's another Friday and you're with your friends again. I called over Nashwa after so long because I couldn't bear the loneliness. We tried what we used to do with you together as a trio on Fridays until that is, you found a different company instead. Without you, we only ended up wasting hours of effort and feeding ourselves with Knorr instant noodles when the cake we tried baking first burned on the base and then turned out to be coal on the inside too.

Like everyone's heart these days.

Wait, let me drink some cold lemu pani first, another instant thing and not the fine lemonade you could make but you're not here and what's even the point of me ranting on this stupid tablet of mine when you might never actually look into my eyes to see what I want to say. Human nature is tragic in itself or otherwise I think it's just another damage in my brain that I can't just say to you in actual: Hana, I'm sorry, can we talk about what happened two years ago?

But would that stop you from hanging out with your friends so much?

What if you've found they really are the sort of people you click right with?

What if they're your real soul tribe?

Gah! I hope and pray not because that just makes me curse bad things at them like endless dandruff and rapid hair fall and multiple pimples on their special day and also yes, ugly fat husbands that are double their age and also bald.

Would you still hang out with them then? Bald, ugly, acne prone girls?

I think you would because you used to hang out with Nashwa and me and though I'm brain damaged and Nashwa's just furious and catty about everything, you cherished us for our hearts until they rotted too.

How do I fix a rotten heart?

How does Dadi fix rotten plants upstairs?

Is cutting them off the only way to save the rest of the garden?

Is there really no remedy?

Urghhh. I can't.

I can't take all this mental torture and frustration because Mama's preparing dinner now and Dadi's doing her crochet and Baano is furious at us for making a mess of the kitchen and Nashwa's gone because she and Baano had an outrageous argument too and I don't know what to do with my worthless, useless self!

I have been talking to you like this more and more and I'm deleting them all off because they're all about my anime, Korean shows and movies and stuff you just don't watch and though you'd listen to me pour my heart about them for hours had the Fight not happened, you're ... unfriendly with me now.

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