Little Miss Innocent

Chapter 14-Preparations

NATALIE

I groaned into Trevor's pillow, shifting once again in an impossible attempt to get comfortable.

I hardly slept at all last night.

Literally.

Not an hour went by that I didn't wake up. The longest stretch of sleep I'd had was from 4:00 am until now, which was 6:00 am.

I just couldn't force myself to sleep anymore. There were too many things running through my mind at once.

Like the stupid plan and going home and my mother.

Just everything!

I kicked off the covers and looked around the room, noticing that I was completely alone.

Normally when I woke up, Trevor would be ruffling through his closet or showering. But for the first time since I'd been here, I'd woken up before him.

I timidly threw my legs over the side of the bed, quietly standing up.

I wasn't sure if I was allowed up before Trevor. But like I said, I couldn't lay there any longer, staring at the ceiling and replaying the same horrible scenarios about how the night would go in my head.

I could just imagine it. Marc not bothering to obey my request for a drink, not leaving me alone for even a second to place the microphone, locking me in a room with him and forcing me to do whatever he wanted or him walking in on me placing the microphone or running into him on the way out or--

Suddenly, Trevor's words rang through my head from last night. About him not letting anything happen to me.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, trying to calm myself down.

After all, I'd be wearing an earpiece in which they could hear everything that was going on and I could hear them. I could just scream for help. Right? They wouldn't just...let him do that to me. Right?

I put my head in my hands.

I couldn't keep thinking like this. I'd never get the job done if all I did was worry.

I needed to be strong.

I needed to be confident when Marc saw me.

I needed to be everything he wanted and craved.

I couldn't be washed up in anxiety or fear.

I wanted to go home and if doing this plan right was what was going to get me there then it's what I had to do.

I got down on my knees beside the bed.

"Please, God. Just help me get through this. I know that everything happens for a reason and that You test us with rough paths and fearful situations. I just ask that as I put my faith in You, You be with me tonight and guide me. I know that what I'm doing is technically considered wrong. So, I also ask for Your understanding and forgiveness...forgiveness for what I'm about to do and the thoughts I'd been having." I whispered as my mind wandered back to Trevor on top of me and the things he said before immediately snapping back. "I'm just curious, I guess. Lord, I am not doubting You when I cry and wonder about why You've put me in this situation. I'm just scared. But I know that You're watching over me. God bless. Amen."

I stayed kneeling on the floor for a few minutes, my mind wandering to other various things about the plan that I'd let get pushed back and covered up by fear. Like how I was going to do my hair and makeup, what time to start getting ready, etc.

I sighed, picking myself up from the floor, glancing around the room.

I knew the door would still be locked so I decided to just go ahead and take a shower.