I Knew I Could Have

Chapter 12: A What If

I wake up at midnight, take my watch, and go back to bed. When I wake up, I sharpen all my knives. I make sure Cato and I are both ready for this. We pack up and head out. It's not super early, but not noon yet. When we reach the outskirts of the clearing, I see movement. Katniss is running for the cornucopia. "Please let me." I say to Cato. I run towards her, and she looks back. In that moment, I throw a knife at her head. It slices right above her eye and she stops and groans. I jump on her and tackle her to the ground. She's shot at me twice, and both times I've dodged it. My heart is racing. I pull out a knife and try to stab, but she grabs my wrist. I keep trying to pull it closer, but I'm not able to. I finally stab, but she's moved her head and my knife is in the ground. I pin her and hold the knife to her throat. "Where's Loverboy?" There's a pause, and she doesn't answer. "Oh, I see. You were gonna help him, weren't you? Well, that's sweet. Too bad you didn't get to help your little friend, that little girl. What was her name again? Oh, yeah, Rue." I say, remembering a note Brutus had sent us on the 10th day, telling us all about her. Katniss seems angered by the fact that the girl is gone, and she spits. "Well, we killed her. And now we're gonna kill you." I can barely believe the words coming out of my mouth. Since when was I a bloodthirsty creep? I pull out a small knife and taunt her, saying I'll give the audience a good show. Suddenly a strong hand pulls me up. "DID YOU KILL HER?" the voice thunders. The person pins me to the cornucopia. "YOU KILL HER?" he hollers. "No," I choke out. "I HEARD YOU!" my heart is beating very fast. "CATO! CATO!" I shriek. "YOU SAID HER NAME!" my captor yells. I look at Katniss, but she seems dazed. My captor pulls me back, and I can see he's preparing to slam me to the ground. I'm about to die. Then, a knife appears in my captor's stomach. He drops me, and then falls to the ground, revealing my Cato behind him. Cato smiles, and picks me up. I breath a sigh of relief. I'm ok. Cato is here. Katniss tries to make a run for it. I scramble to get out of Cato's hold. I throw a knife, and it lands straight in her back. She stumbles, then falls. I run to her. "Katniss?" I say. She looks up at me. "Tell Prim I'm sorry. Peeta too. And Gale. Remind my mother of her promise. Please, tell Prim I'm sorry. Prim. I'm sorry." she whispers to me. I burst into tears. How could I have done that? Why did I kill her? I feel awful, for her, for Prim, whoever that is, and for everything else. Katniss's eyes close, and she grabs my hand. "Prim." she mumbles. A tear falls down her cheek, and then she goes limp. "Cato!" I screech. I collapse next to Katniss's body. Cato runs to me and cradles my head. "It'll be ok. It's ok." he whispers. I sniffle, and Cato carries me. We walk in the direction Katniss was trying to go, and I call for Peeta. "Peeta! It's Clove! Peeta! Peeta!" I yell. After a half hour, just before my voice goes hoarse, I hear a moan. Cato sets me down and I call again. Peeta yells again, and I follow his voice. A shape is huddled over a large rock eating something. "Oh my word, Careers." the voice says. I look closer and see the girl from District Five. She stuffs another handful of berries in her mouth and swallows them whole. I look to see what kind of berries she's eating, and I scream. "That's Nightlock! You'll die!" I yell at her. Her eyes enlarge. "Crap. These were for him!" she says. She holds up a handful of blueberries. "These were for me, not those! I don't..." she never finishes her sentence, because she collapses before that. A cannon goes off, and I hear Peeta groan again. I find him in a cave under the rock the Five girl was on. He looks awful. "Peeta, I'm sorry but Katniss...she's gone." I say to him. Peeta looks at me. "Clove, please kill me." "WHAT???!!!" I yell. He said it so casually, like he'd been thinking about it for a while. "I can't live without Katniss. I actually love her. Please Clove, a mercy kill. Then you win, ok?" he pleads. I look at him, and I can see that he really does want me to kill him. I stand up, close my eyes, and throw my knife. I hear a gasp, and then the cannon goes off. I keep my eyes closed until I'm out of the cave. I open my eyes to see Cato standing there. We stand there for a second, and then an announcement comes. "Attention, attention, tributes. There has been a slight rule change. The previous revision, allowing for two victors from the same district has been revoked. Good luck, and may the odds be ever in your favor." The announcer says. I look at Cato. I've never seen him so mad. "What? You want me to kill her? You want her to kill me? NO!" he yells. "I WILL NOT HURT CATO, OR MYSELF!" I scream at the sky. "Well, then." the voice says. The day suddenly turns into night, and I hear howling. I turn around, and I see a group of hounds chasing Cato and I. "RUN!" I scream. We both run towards the clearing and climb the cornucopia. I would have climbed a tree, but Cato can't climb very well. Once we're on top. Cato fastens me and him to the top with a rope. He leans over and slashes at the mutts with his sword. I throw knives at them. When I look closer, I gasp. "Cato, it's the other tributes! But in mutt-form!" I shriek. I kill a mutt that is the spitting image of Felix, and another that looks just like Glimmer. "Marvel?" Cato asks as he slices into the mutt-version of his friend. "Katniss, Peeta!" I scream. Cato and I fight the mutts until there are finally none left. When we're done, I crawl to Cato and kiss him. "We're alive!" I tell him. The sky returns to normal. "Ladies and Gentlemen, the victors of the 74th annual Hunger Games!" the voice says. We both breathe a sigh of relief as we are removed from the arena.

The next day, we're both dressed up, sitting in front of Caesar Flickerman. "How do you two feel about your victory?" Caesar asks. "Amazing. I would have died without my Clove." Cato says. I nod in agreement. "Ms. Kentwell, I noticed that you were hesitant to kill Peeta Mallark, soon after the death of Katniss Everdeen, whom you also killed." he said. I realize it's not a question. "I just felt guilty killing Katniss, and I wasn't sure if I'd ever get over it. So, when Peeta asked me to kill him, I didn't want to. But I'm glad that Cato and I won." I say, putting my head on Cato's shoulder. He swings his arm around me and strokes my hair. I smile at him, and we finish the interview. He plants a kiss on my cheek or lips every so often, and the whole audience smiles and "awws". When our victor's interview is over, Brutus and Enobaria take us back to the room. Enobaria gives me a hug. "You have no idea how glad I am that you're here. Both of you. I'm so proud!" she tells Cato and I. I smile and hug her back. We all stand there in the hallway outside the Victor's suite, and laugh. Laugh at the odds of both of us winning. Laugh at the fact that we're alive. Laugh at the fact that we get to go home. Brutus hasn't stopped smiling since we won, and Aphrodite tears up whenever she sees us. We walk in the room and Ingrid and Cato's stylist, Idalia are waiting for us. They don't even say hello or congratulations, they just go straight to the outfits. "You should wear this on the way home, Clove!" Idalia squeals. "No! She's wearing this!" Ingrid tells her. They argue for a minute, but then decide that Cato and I will wear matching gold armor with our victor's crowns. My armor is more fitted and girlish and Cato's is very strong and handsome, just like him. Once we look good enough for our stylists, they hug us and cry and tell us that they'll miss us and that they hope the half year before we see them again will pass quickly. Ingrid, the idiot that she is, won't stop touching my hair. It's very annoying.

So anyway, later, we're on a train back to District Two. Cato and I will both be moving to the Victor's Village. I'm so excited. When we step off the train, we are greeted by a huge crowd. They scream our names and yell for our attention. We look around and spot our families. I see my parents, and I run to them. My mom hugs me so tight. "You won! I have succeeded in life!" she squeals. I roll my eyes. My dad smiles at me and laughs. "We're so proud." He says. I look over at Cato. His mom is hugging him and won't let him go. His dad isn't there, but his dad is never there. We all hug and smile. Today has been amazing. I say goodbye to Aphrodite, and then Cato and I head to our new homes with our families. A tear falls down my cheek. For once, it's a happy tear. I'm so excited to live this new chapter of my life.