5:32 am
Pretty imposible for a person like me to fall asleep with all these thoughts roaming through my head am I worth it?
Do I really matter to you?
I don't understand stand how you don't feel bad about it one bit. Then I hear you talking about dirty shit with my mom and she accepts it like nothing ever happened she knows what you did is wrong so why do you keep. Bothering and coming. But if you stop coming they'll blame it on me that it's my fault I couldn't get over it. WELL ITS HARD TO GET OVER SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED BASICALLY EVERYDAY FOR FIVE YEARS. It's hard to forget to forgive I'll never forgive you stop getting me things I don't want it. Stop bugging me cause i hate it and don't say my name cause I never existed for you, I was just a toy you could play around with a toy you could use only minute and throw me away the next your the reason I cut your the reason I cry myself to sleep the days I can sleep the reason my mom gets mad at me for the things you did. Because no one ever understands what I feel what I go through everyday. When I was still in school I would sit alone on the bus during lunch I would sit with my so called friend just so i wouldn't have to sit alone. During my electives I would sit away from the rest of the crowd P.E? Rather get in trouble and sit out than to exhaust myself for people who don't matter to me. The ride home sit alone listen to music ignore everyone come home go to the bathroom and cut. You see I would rather let myself bleed out from all the cuts than hug you rather hang myself over a cliff dangling by the tree at the edge than to talk to you. I would rather DIE than to even see you or hear about you. How bad can you be how worse can it get for me here I think I'm at my limit I'll sleep all day and wake up at night that way I don't need or see any of you. Because you just don't care anymore
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Fuck you I hate you
