feelings. ㅤ ( idol producer )

six.

ㅤ
six.

ㅤ
ㅤ i slid my thumb over the mobile screen while reading the article that had been published about me the day before. besides that, there were a few more on other webs and many people had started talking about me on social media. i had also read some comments from fans on twitter, instagram and weibo. at the same time, i was eating the ramen that was on the plate in front of me. i was more attentive to the mobile than to what was going on around me.

ㅤ "xinyue?" cheng xiao suddenly called me. i was about to finish reading the article, so i started reading much faster. "xinyue? are you listening to me?" she repeated. i blocked the phone and left it on the table, looking at her.

ㅤ "i'm sorry. i was reading an article that was published about me" i answered her honestly, putting the food in my mouth.

ㅤ "ah, yes. i've seen some too" cheng xiao replied. "people are quite hyped. you're a star" she added. i shook my head. i had food in my mouth so i couldn't respond. however, she kept talking. "by the way, i can't go to the rehearsals this afternoon, you'll have to be on your own. i have to leave for a few hours for family reasons, but i'll be back tomorrow morning" she said. i nodded, focused on my ramen plate as i listened to cheng xiao speak. i had actually gotten used to rehearsing with the boys so i wasn't as scared of being alone as i was the day before.

ㅤ after i stayed up late rehearsing the night before, i went back to my room and fell asleep as soon as i laid down on the bed. i had had a hard time getting up in the morning, but that wasn't too bad either. in the morning classes, we met 'get ugly' and 'shake' groups. with the last one i had been the night before so i was partly familiar with them. anyway, it was not an easy rehearsal as the groups were going badly and we had to practice a lot.

ㅤ at that time we were eating. we only had two groups left to finish the first part of the rehearsals. then the next two days before the group evaluation we would help the groups to perfect the songs. they would even rehearse on stage the day before the performance.

ㅤ i was about to eat my noodles when cheng xiao called me back. "xinyue" she said, with a smile on her face. i held the chopsticks in front of my mouth, still not eating anything, and stared at her. "i'm warning you not to make a fool of yourself" she started laughing shyly. "look behind you, discreetly"

ㅤ i was with my back to the dining room door, so i couldn't see who was coming in. i turned my head slowly. as soon as the entrance appeared in my sight and two boys came in through it, i turned back to cheng xiao, my eyes like plates. "no way" i muttered. my chopsticks fell out of my hands, right next to the plate. cheng xiao was laughing at my reaction.

ㅤ jackson and yixing had just walked in the door. if it had been other people, my reaction wouldn't have been like that. however, i personally liked their music very much and had followed them since before i even went into produce 101. i had told cheng xiao how much i admired them and that i was looking forward to meeting them. she knew how much i liked them as fan that i was, so she had decided to laugh at me in that situation.

ㅤ "hold on" cheng xiao said and then she got up from his seat. "yixing, jackson!" she exclaimed, waving her arms.

ㅤ "cheng xiao!!" i called out to her, hoping she would sit down. "no! cheng xiao!" i repeated, but it was too late.

ㅤ "cheng xiao!" a voice exclaimed to my right. i took a deep breath and turned around, finding jackson next to me, who was looking at us both. two seconds later, yixing appeared next to him. "oh, xinyue!" then he added. i was stunned for a few thousandths of a second. my brain didn't seem to react. but i immediately concentrated on what was happening and got up from the seat. "where were you? i was looking forward to meeting you" jackson said, looking at me. again i didn't know what to do.