The Player and The Freckled Girl

I'm going to figure out what happened to you dad

A couple of weeks after my outbursts in school and with Kelley and Alex, things have calmed down a little. Pam found out about it all and has been making me go see a therapist about it, saying that I never had the chance to get all my emotions out when it happened.

I get a lot of sympathetic looks from students around school since everyone now knows I've got dead parents. The boys were not happy when they found out but I managed to stop them doing something that would get them in trouble with coach.

Mr Davis gave me detention for a week, I think my rant to him may have lessened my sentence probably because I played the dead parents cared and he felt harsh, he should've.

Alex always makes sure to check up on me if I've been MIA for a couple of hours scared that I'm going to do what we talked about that night but I'm not in that headspace anymore.

I'm sitting in the car right now with Alex as she drives me to my parent's gravestone, my therapist also thought it would be good for me to talk to them even though it's just a piece of stone, it's not like they're in there but I'll give it ago.

"here we are, do you want me to wait in the car," Alex asks as we pull up outside the huge black gates

"Please, I won't be too long," I say and hop out my side, taking a deep breath in of the all too familiar setting I'm looking at.

I follow the path to where I know my parent are buried and awkwardly sit down in front of their tombstones wondering what the hell I'm meant to say.

"I dont really know what I'm supposed to say so I guess I'll start with, hey guys?" I say as more of a question

"I'm 17 now if you didn't know already, in my Junior in high school, my third one of the year actually but I think I'll be sticking around at this one for a while. Schools alright I guess, I'm on the soccer and football team which can be a bit much sometimes but I love both of my teammates to death, they really are like family" I say and glance to the car waiting for me

"I'm trying hard mom, I'm trying to stay as positive as you did, always thinking of what's going good in my life but it's really hard to do that right now, I just want to crawl into a ball and stay there for eternity. I don't have the same energy you did, even when you knew you were dying." I say and my fingers hover over the engraved name on the stone.

"and dad I'm doing everything in my power to find out what really happened to you, I know if your where here right now that you'd tell me to not bother because it's too dangerous but I can't carry on with life not knowing the truth, it's eating me up." I tell the imaginary people

"I love you guys I really do and I wish more than anything in the world that I still had you by my side but for whatever reason, it wasn't meant to be," I say and wipe the stray tear falling from my eyes

"I better get going, my friends waiting for me, I think you'd like her a lot of mom, she's got the same kind soul you did. Alright by guys, love you both" I say and stand up walking back to Alex's car.

"Everything okay?" Alex asks as I buckle myself in

"Yeah, thanks for driving Alex," I said smiling to the girl I've grown to love like a sister over these months

"my pleasure" She says smiling back as she turns the radio on for the drive home.

I'm going to figure out what happened to you dad, even if it's the last thing I do.

- - - -

"You ready to do this?" Alex asks me as I stand in the locker room after our last game