Madeline

Chapter 32

I refused to tell anyone what happened between Reed and me. I felt so stupid and embarrassed, and even though I knew I wasn't, alone. All I would say was that we had a fight and he left. And that I wasn't sure if he was coming back.

Michael, obviously feeling angry and frustrated, had gone to Reed's house the following day to try to figure out what happened. He didn't tell me about it beforehand. If he had, I would have asked him not to go. If Reed wanted space and time to think, I didn't want him to believe I was trying to track him down.

All the same, I was a little glad Michael went. Or at least I was glad until I learned that it had been pointless. He said Reed wasn't there and it seemed as though he hadn't been for hours. Maybe he'd been gone all night.

I knew then that any search for him would be futile. As we were supposed to be getting married in a few days, he had no commitments that would pull him away from his home, so I was sure he'd gone into the woods. Reed knew everything about the woods. He felt most comfortable when he was surrounded by nothing but trees for miles and miles. He could survive indefinitely in the middle of nowhere, with very few possessions. If he didn't want to be found, he wouldn't be.

What was supposed to be our wedding day came and went without much ado. After bringing Rebecca home, Viola was able to come stay with me for a few days, but soon had to return to her responsibilities at home. Once she left, things returned to the way they'd been before. At the same time, everything felt completely different.

For the sake of everyone else, I tried to appear fine, though I was far from it. Having everyone treat me as though they understood, made it harder. It was sweet that they were upset on my behalf. Or in Michael's case, furious with Reed for, among other things, leaving me "in the middle of nowhere". In reality, I hadn't been far from William and Keira's house. It would have been difficult for anyone to miss me if they'd come outside, actually. But Michael thought it was unacceptable just the same.

Sweet as their reactions were, every sympathetic glance or consoling word or expression of what should be done to Reed (mostly from Michael) only served as a painful reminder that he was gone and that everything I'd been hoping for and counting on might be impossible now.

If that weren't bad enough, I'd reverted to wondering about my future. If Reed truly was gone, I had no idea what I was going to do.

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"How about some lunch?"

Shaking my head to clear it, I looked up to find Anne standing over me. I'd been sitting and staring out the front window, and must have lost track of the time if it was already so late.

"Sure." I forced a smile. I really didn't feel like eating, but whenever I refused, Anne worried.

I stood and followed her to the kitchen where she'd placed a small stack of sandwiches in the center of the table. After taking a seat, I reached for a half sandwich and Anne eyed me disapprovingly. I would have taken more to make her happy, but I probably wouldn't even be able to eat this much. Pretending not to notice her frown, I began to pick at the bread.

It was quiet as Anne ate and I tried to figure out how I could make it seem like I was eating more than I was. It was easier with soup or some other food I could move around the plate. Sandwiches were either there or they weren't.

As we sat together, I attempted to think up some normal conversation, but every time I searched my mind for something, Reed was all I could think of. Not that Anne would mind discussing everything, but I wasn't sure I could do it without crying. I didn't know if I'd even sound coherent. After two weeks, I was still having trouble understanding what exactly happened and why Reed felt as though he needed to disappear. What I said must have really hurt him and I wished with everything in me that I could take it back.