Señorita

~The Reason To Fight~

Camila's P.O.V.

I’ve always thought that bringing children in this world when I am in a mafia was one thing I’d really detest to do. I didn’t want to bear children and let them live a life I did, I don’t want them having the same feeling of fear cursing in their veins, having the fear of losing the ones they love and care for. I didn’t want them to wake up every morning wondering if they are safe nor will their family members, the one they love can still come back to them at night when they leave in the morning.

Children deserves all the love, all the happiness and the protection they needed since they are conceived in the womb. They should all have nothing but a whole complete family, a place where they feel so secure and safe, have people whom they shouldn’t worry about leaving them in a split second. They all should have a good and beautiful life and not the life I grew up with.

That was my first opinion when I thought about having a child at this life. I detested it, even tried to find several medical procedures and pills to stop myself from producing children, even trying to get away from men who tries to make me fall in love with them. I never wanted to do anything with children nor with men but the second I saw Shawn playing with the children, the minute I saw him interacting with them, the smiles on their faces…

I realized that children’s lives shouldn’t be perfect just for them to learn that there are many lessons in this kind of life. I realized how much I badly wanted to have a family of my own, to carry his children and also to become his wife, to spend the rest of our loves together. Being with Shawn then made me realize that I actually don’t have to fear anything because having him by my side was enough to take my fears away, the love I have for him erased the worry and fear that I have in this kind of life of having our own family.

I realized that it was the love, the same reason why Mama wasn’t scared to bring children, of bringing me in this world. It was because of the love that Papa has for her and the promise that he would be keeping her safe as well as I was the one that caused her to choose to come with him even having such a life in the mafia. Even though he wasn’t able to protect Mama just as he promised, he was still living his life protecting me with all his might.

It was all because of love…

Soft murmurs filled the whole room as I was still regaining my consciousness, I can hear beeping noises which I’m positive came from a heart monitor. My limbs still felt slightly sore and painful, there was a stinging pain that I can somehow feel on the back of my hand, for sure it also is an IV which Dr. Torrey connected to me. We had a pact that if I ever fainted again, she’d hook me up and I can’t have any say on it anymore due to me being dehydrated and her worry of fatigue.

Slowly, I fluttered my eyes open and was immediately greeted by the bright light. The people talking suddenly turned silent seeing me slightly moving, I felt someone sitting beside me on the bed just as I was able to finally regain my vision. I was welcomed by the same ceiling of my room as well as the walls and the windows, I turned to look at my surroundings and found myself in my own room hooked up with the IV’s and the heart monitor machine.

I guess they planned to bring me back here in my room so I could be more comfortable. My eyes looked around and found Papa, Jesse, Matt, Tia Catalina, Tia Hilda and Dr. Torrey all inside my room, they all have different expressions in their faces, ones with worry, shock, even a hint of confusion flashed in their eyes. They were all looking at each other, throwing glances that made me think something seems to be wrong here.

"Camila hey, how are you?" It was Jesse who sat beside me on the bed, his brown eyes held so much worry but relief overcame it as his hand came to caress my cheek.

Him acting like this seemed to be normal for me since he always is worried but then having all of them here in my room tells me that something serious is probably happening. Jesse’s eyes widened the minute he realized he was actually asking me to speak, he immediately held my unhooked hand and caressed it as a way to comfort me.