Hermitcrap/Oneshots S7 [CANCELLED, DON'T BOTHER READING]

Incorrect Quotes So I Can Procrastinate On All My Other Responsibities

You know what's happening, so let's get on with it. Just a quick warning that some of these go into the lime territory a little, but nothing too extreme. Don't worry, I'll warn you of those first and foremost. Now let's get on with this, shall we?

Wizard Scar: you wanna see a magic trick?
Grian: ...
Grian: no!

<>it's gonna get a little limish now, so get ready<><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Ex: calling people daddy is gross
X: stop kink-shaming me!
Ex: kink-shaming is my kink!
X: ...
X: *terrified screaming for many reasons*

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NPC Grian: Grian, I have to confess something...
Grian: uh, yeah? What's up, NPG?
NPG: y'know that thing you call a toothbrush?
Grian: you used it too?
NPG: what? Well, I guess, I broke it on Robot Grian's head-
Grian: you WHAT!?

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Xisuma: so how's the void?
EX: oh, it's boring, I can't say much about it, but I've gotta admit, I kind of miss it
Xisuma: miss what?
EX: ... you.
Xisuma: aw-
EX: trying to kill you, sorry, autocorrect
Xisuma: but you said it out loud

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Someone: *underestimates the power of TFC and messes with his truck*
TFC: uh-uh, hold up! *flails arounds his nunchucks* you messing with my truck? You messing with my truck, dipstick?

<>only Hermittpad incorrect quote in this one, I promise<><><><><><><><><><>

Rose: welcome to Bible Study! We're all children of Jesus!
Hapy: *snorting up a Bible in the distance*
Rose: kumbaayyyaa, my Lord!

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Mumbo: *runs up to Iskall* Iskall I've just discovered this amazing thing it's called Planking!
Iskall: where have you been?
Mumbo: go check it out!
Mumbo: *planking*
Mumbo: *some more planking*
Mumbo: *planking but underwater*
Iskall: welp, he's dead.

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Joe: the Bible!
Cleo: this is the Bibble-
Joe: you question the words of the mighty J
I M M Y!?

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Doc: The Cheese Of Truth! (Tm)
*slaps Swiss cheese onto a newspaper*
Doc: Trump, causes, cancer!

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Stress in the bathroom: hey, wanna see a picture of my boyfriend's cock?
False: Hell no!
Stress: picture of my boyfriend's cock. *slides down a picture of a rooster*
False: that's a chicken, motherfuck-

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Tfc making a TV show:
Completely Giving Up

Starring: me

Me

And introducing: me

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Grian: look how cute these pens are!
Mumbo: Grian, that's gay.
Grian ...
Grian: Mumbo, we've been dating for a year.

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Cub and Scar: *fighting over where the remote is*
Grian: well, we are Hermits. So that means we must fight through sONG!
Cub: what kind of song?
Grian: the song on the most crack, of course
Joe: wait, G, how do you know the meaning of the word in that context?
Scar: well, I guess you are right.
Cub: well then, let's start!
Joe: IS NO ONE CONCERNED HOW HE-

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Morien (name I came up with for one of the watchers): y'know what, Xelqua, you're on time out! Get on top of the fridge! Get up there!
Grian (Xelqua): THIS HOUSE IS A FREAKING NIGHTMARE!

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And I'm now out of ideas and my insane sister who will not stop laughing like a damn maniac over everything that happens in whatever the fuck she's is watching and is seriously testing my urge to not slap her in the face, so I'm just gonna end it here.