Write Me A Letter

26 | third

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX / THIRD

Hey Brie,

How are you doing? Sorry if I haven't been able to check up on you personally. It's been a hectic week and I've been swamped with basketball practice. Have your wounds healed already? By the way mom said that you can come over anytime for some chicken. Text me when you get this or slip in a letter in my locker too lol. We promised to write each other anyway, right?

        "WHAT'S THAT?"

Brie jumped at Paula's voice. She glared at her friend who slotted her head between Brie and the locker. A swift glance at Paula told Brie that her friend had a malicious smirk on her face and it only made Brie a lot more fidgety. She crumpled Xander's letter in her hand and shoved it in her jean's back pocket and turned her body to face a still smirking Paula. Why was she smirking? What was that look?

"Why do you sneak on people like that? It's unnerving." And not to mention very much invasive. The last thing she wanted was anyone knowing that Xander sent her a letter because she herself wasn't sure what to make out of it.

Paula shrugged and stretched, exposing her pale midriff. Lunch started just fifteen minutes ago but Paula already looked exhausted. Although Paula pretended to not be affected by the events that transpired last week, Brie knew that her friend still cried herself to sleep. To be fair, all of them looked pretty much the same for the past week. Brie was even at a disadvantage with her still healing scratches. But she'd take the scrutiny of her classmates and teachers any day  over that night when her mom found out that she had been involved in a catfight.

It took her and Paula on their knees to get her mom to not push through with filing a case or heading to the school. She much rather move forward than have the ghost of her mistakes crawl up to her when she was trying to heal, both physically and emotionally.

"You look like you're hiding something so of course I'd sneak up on you," Paula reasoned with a tone that sounded like it should've been obvious. Brie rolled her eyes but hooked arms with Paula.

"There was nothing to see. It was just trash. Mom made me two ham sandwiches. Do you want one?"

"I do, and I'm pretty sure Xander's letter isn't just trash."

Biting on the inside of her cheek, Brie considered the pros and cons of telling Paula the truth as they walked the path toward their now claimed bench at the field. It was just the right spot. Shady underneath an old oak tree and not too warm under the intense heat of noon. Paula was trustworthy and trust wasn't really the main reason why she was hesitating. It had more to do with the fact that she suddenly felt ashamed.

She couldn't understand the feeling. Again and again, she'd tell herself that she wasn't doing anything wrong and if Xander wanted to extend an olive branch and mend their friendship, it wouldn't be a crime if she accepted it. But it made her feel guilty. Maybe because she was aware that she still had residual feelings for him or that she knew Izzy wouldn't like it if she found out.

"Brie," Paula said her name like she was talking to a child. "You can tell me anything. You know that. Don't keep it all inside. The last time you hid how you felt, you ended up only hurting yourself."

"I don't know," she whined, plopping down onto the bench and tucking her legs underneath her. "I'm just so confused with everything. Xander's being so kind to me and it's messing with my head. It's making me feel like I'm doing something wrong. Plus, plus—Troy! That guy. He said that I should figure out how I feel about Ollie and Xander to make things easier for all of us. Like, what's that suppose to mean?"

Paula looked as baffled as her. She pressed the bridge of her nose with her freshly manicured nails and breathed deeply. "Wait, what's this got to do with Ollie?"

"Exactly! Why would he bring up Ollie. It's not like Ollie and I are a thing. It just—it's not like that. We were just."

"You were just what?"

"It's never clear to begin with what we were trying to accomplish."

"Brie." Paula sat down next to her, shoulders slacked and lips pursed. The sudden turn of her head startled Brie. "Do you have feelings for Ollie?"

"What?! No! It's not like that. I'm just. No, it's not. I don't know what you guys are talking about. There's. I don't know!"

"Oh for fuck's sake."

"What?!"

"You like Ollie too? How the fuck did that happen?"

She frowned. "I did not say that. I don't remember saying I like Ollie."

Paula's gray eyes were soft as she reached out to hold Brie's tight fists. She gently unclasped her fingers, she didn't even notice that she her knuckles had turned white. "Brie, if you don't have any feelings for him, you wouldn't be this confused."

She groaned. It hit her like a fucking truck that what Paula said was true. She did have emotions for Ollie. The indifferent, snobbish, jokester, careless Oliver who always observed people deeper than Troy did. Was that even possible? Was liking two people at the same time possible for a heart that was as fragile as hers?

As her eyes flickered over the group of sophomores who were goofing with each other about ten yards away from them, she tried to filter through her memories and pick the right one where she thought she might have officially liked Ollie but she couldn't find it.

She had always been attracted to him, but not in the same way as she was with Xander. With Xander there were real feelings involved but with Ollie it was just admiration, a tiny bit of curiosity as she would watch him from under her lashes, but that was it. Brie never took that small bit of attraction seriously, brushing it off as a natural response to an attractive guy, but when did it start to change; when did it morph to this unsettling and growing emotion that wanted to rush out of her chest?

"Don't stress yourself over it," Paula said. "Just let the realization sit in for a moment. It's not like you're gonna deal with any of them soon. We're all not on speaking terms, remember? Well, except for Xander apparently and Troy."

"I know, but how could I miss out on my own feelings, Paula? How on earth? Am I that obtuse and distressed that I can't even distinguish if I have feelings—"

She was cut off by the sound of her phone. With a frown, she pulled it out of her pocket. Her heart went in on her throat.

"What? What's wrong?" Paula grabbed at her wrist to take a look at her phone and their eyes met, sharing a look of mild alarm and surprise.

Ollie just texted her and he wanted to talk. Now.

-

hi! how are you all doing? hope everyone's safe at home with their loved ones.

did you enjoy today's chapter? what are u looking forward to for the next ones to come?

also i just want to thank everyone who has been commenting very warm messages. it brightens my day whenever i read ur comments 🤍

-cass