Write Me A Letter

34 | jean

CHAPTER THIRTY FOUR | J E A N

THEY FOUND HER CURLED BEHIND THE HOOD of a car. Jean was sitting on the floor, head in between her knees and trembling hands over her ears. Her hair was all over her face and her body shook as she desperately tried to hold in the sobs, only to fail.

The sight brought a feeling of being punched in the gut to Brie. She ran all the way to the parking lot with Paula, calling out Jean's name until they found their friend behind a Ford Escape. Brie's determined strides halted as soon as she spotted Jean. It was as if her legs lost all their energy when she saw how small and broken Jean looked.

It was devastating—horrible even—to see someone who used to be so bright dim from pain and anguish.

It was Paula who took the first steps. "Oh, Jean. What happened?" Paula knelt on one knee and pushed away the stray strands that clouded Jean's vision. "You need to stand up."

"I-I can't," Jean hiccuped, "my legs are shaking so bad that I can't stand properly."

That was when Brie felt her heart constrict. With pursed lips, she knelt down beside Paula and tried to rub Jean's back in comforting circles. It only brought another round of tears.

Brie and Paula exchanged a look of confusion and concern. Students were milling about and they were lucky to be hidden in a good spot but they were sure it wouldn't be for long.

"Jean," she started, wincing when her voice sounded shaky. "Can you stand up now? The asphalt's hot. Why don't we get you in Paula's car so we can drive you home."

Her words took a different effect. Panic filled Jean as she struggled to stand. Her knees wobbled and Brie reached out to steady her before she could fall.

"Please," Jean begged, eyes wide and frantic. Her lip trembled and her palms were cold on Brie's wrist. "Please, don't bring me home. Take me anywhere but home."

Paula shook her head and sighed. "Jean, I don't think we should be bringing you anywhere else in this state. We can hang out with you at your place if you'd like but you need to go home."

"No!" Jean's opposition was clear and heavy, tight fists pulling at each of their sleeves. She turned to Brie. "No, please. Brie, please."

Brie looked at Paula with pursed lips. She knew that Paula wanted Brie to be home but she herself knew very well why one would run away from a supposed place of comfort. Something was wrong and she wouldn't want to push Jean into what she was afraid of.

"Maybe we can all stay at my place for a while before we bring Jean home?"

Jean's face brightened and they both turned to Paula in anticipation. Under their scrutiny and eyes, Paula finally relented and let out a sigh. "Fine. But three hours tops and we'll go home. I don't want your parents worrying about you."

-

"Thank you," was the first thing Jean said when they reached Brie's room.

The drive barely took twenty minutes and inside the safety of Paula's car, Jean didn't shy away from crying her heart out. It was the sound of pain that accompanied them on their way home, but now that Jean had finally sobered after a glass of water, Brie felt her chest squeeze a little less.

Brie glanced at Jean, throwing her backpack to the foot of her bed as both her friends find good spots to sit in. Having Jean in her room again almost felt foreign if not odd. It had been awhile and even the length of Jean's hair showed how much time apart was spent.

They grew long enough to reach her mid-back and it suited her, albeit a little rumpled now. Brie always saw Jean with short black hair. Occasionally, Jean would let her grow longer until it brushed her shoulder blades. She missed the old Jean, but this young girl in front of her have bloomed into a confident woman who finally found her own style and was brave enough to own it.

It made her smile. Maybe letting go of Jean wasn't so much of a bad decision after all despite her initial concerns.

"Do you guys want some cookies? My mom baked some yesterday."

"I'm pregnant."

Pin-drop silence. Not one gasp nor word came out of her and Paula's parted lips. Jean was on the floor, quite in the same position as she was in the parking lot, only her hair was out of her face and she was hugging her knees instead of hiding between them.

Brie's head blanked quicker than one could press the delete button. All she could hear was the word pregnant and the sound of Jean crying from earlier.

A beat passed before Jean spoke again. She gently rocked herself back and forth, eyes trained on Brie's bookshelves. She looked tired, stressed and bruised with invisible scars that could only be from words.

"I'm pregnant and Wes broke up with me when he found out. He wants me to abort the baby and I told our—his friends and they told practically everyone in the first hour. Now the whole school thinks I'm a whore and a slut." Her voice cracked and her eyes became glassy again. "My parents want us to get married but how will that happen when... when Wes doesn't even want anything to do with me?"

"Jean..." Paula struggled to find the right words. Her gray eyes kept on flickering between Jean and the floor as she tried to fill the silence with sentences. "But what do you want?"

It took some time for Jean to answer and Brie held her breath. Pregnancy was something that always happened to people around them; to teenagers they saw on T.V but never actually to anyone she knew. It made her think what would happen to Jean, to Wes, to their families or to her and Paula if the roles were reversed and it was them who were in Jean's shoes.

Determination strengthened Jean's wet face. "I want to keep the baby. I don't care about Wes." She shook her head. "I actually still do. I still love him but if he's so much of an asshole then my baby and I will do just fine without him. I just can't believe that I didn't listen to you and trusted them."

Brie could say "I told you so" to Jean. Her fear was proven correct and the evidence was now sitting on her bedroom floor but to be proven right was never her goal. As much as she hated to admit it, she wanted Jean to be happy and successful with the decision she made even if it was with Wes.

Yet as Jean continued to rock back and forth, only one thought stayed in Brie's head: Jean was her friend and friends might stray away sometimes but that didn't mean it severed their ties completely.

"You're right," she finally said and Jean looked up. She smiled at her. "You'll do fine without him but on days when you don't feel fine, remember that I'm here."

Their eyes stayed glued to each other. Hers, promising and Jean's grateful. When Brie smiled again, Jean's chin trembled and she burst out crying. Paula who had been silently watching them sniffed and ran to squeeze Jean into a hug. "Don't you dare forget about me! I'm here too. We're gonna be your baby's godmothers."

Brie was sure that it was the first time that Jean laughed today and the sound warmed her heart. Paula's head popped out of the tight and embrace and she raised a brow at her. "What are you waiting for? Come here and join us."

Brie happily obliged.