Hold On

Panic

The Wednesday morning sun streamed through the curtains of Lillian's room, the alarm clock blaring on the nightstand. Reaching for the device, she sleepily swiped at the object. Hitting the snooze button, the annoying noise ceased as she lay back down. It was then that she registered the weight beside her; a lump of sheets and blankets resting partially on her arm. Pulling back the sheets, she found the top of Lena's head burrowing into her side, Lillian's arm in a vice grip. Reaching across herself, the older brunette gently brushed pieces of Lena's hair off her face, the younger girls features scrunching up before she nuzzled further into her mother's side, a content sigh escaping her lips.

Green eyes opened slowly as the young brunette registered movement around her. She felt soft fingers threading themselves through her hair, pulling her to the waking world.

"Good morning." A gentle whisper came from behind her, a smile pulling at the older woman's lips.

"Good morning, Mom," Lena says, her voice soft and thick with sleep.

"How did you sleep?" Lillian asks.

"Good. I'm sorry for coming in here. I didn't want to wake Kara again, but I didn't want to be alone." Lena says slowly, sitting up and turning her body away from her mother.

"Come here baby," The older brunette says, her hand resting on Lena's shoulder.

She knew it was wrong, but before she could control it, she was tensing under the harmless hand of her mother.

Bark dug into her skin, her back protesting against the roots pushing into her spine.

She felt her nails dig into her palms; breaths coming in shallow gasps.

Warm liquid pooled in the palms of her hands. The fear in her chest expanded, encompassing her whole being, its intensity drowning out all other thoughts.

She closed her eyes, urging the menacing smile to just please go away.

Laughter echoed in her ears. Her voice trapped in her throat. The sound of crunching leaves faded in and out of the background.

The hand on her shoulder disappeared, alongside the weight on the bed behind her. She wills her mind to push out the sounds that are fighting their way to the front of her mind, focusing on the near-whisper in front of her.

"You're safe Lena. You're here with me. And Kara. At home." The voice filtered in through the jumbled noises tangling together in her mind, the steady noise calming the tidal wave of emotion raging through her.

"You're at home Lena. Come back to me, baby." She hears Lillian repeating things over and over again, slowly digging her way through the cacophony of sounds.

Home.

Kara.

Safe.

Come back to me.

Lena holds on to these as she pushes herself out of the seemingly endless water that fills her lungs, trapping all sounds in her throat. Cries for help stay muffled, the claws digging deeper inside her, tendrils of fear wrapping around her ankles, threatening to pull her back into the sea of memory. Her grip on the anchor of her mother's voice tightens, keeping her above water, pulling her to shore. The icy black water laps at the shore, waiting to pull her back under.

She could feel her breaths coming out in short gasps, the hand on the bed beside her, itching to rest on her shoulder once more. But it hesitated. Her mother's voice echoed in her ears, dragging her farther from the tsunami building in her minds eye. Reaching out, she wrapped her fingers around the hand beside her, the warmth spreading through her, pushing the fear away, its tendrils sliding off her ankles.