Obliviate (Heath Ledger and Sasha Pieterse)

29th chapter

Sasha’s POV:

I feel cold as ice. My heart is racing and it seems endless. I have a massive headache which is driving me crazy. I try to speak but I can’t. I’m trying to move my mouth but It’s stuck; it’s as if someone sealed it. 

I try to open my eyes but it’s not working, either. What the hell is this? why isn’t my body responding to me? I hear sounds but not very clearly. I want to know where the hell am I. I feel like a soul without a body. All I can see Is black, merely pure darkness. I can’t move any part of my body, It’s like It’s not even there. Maybe It isn’t. Maybe this is just a dream. I have a lot of weird dreams, this could be one of them, but how am i able to think clearly about everything?

 I need to wake up.

The last thing I remember is my conversation with Red. And it’s a conversation that I wish I could forget. I knew during it the things that Heath was supposed to know. I didn't deserve to know the truth before Heath did. It is his truth, not mine. Now I’m stuck here and I need to find Heath. I wish if i could even see anything but blackness but there’s not sign of any other colours.

Minutes pass as I try to do anything to wake me up but nothing is working. I tried to fall so I could wake up, but i couldn’t make it happen.

I hear sounds getting louder. There are different sounds. It’s like people are talking but I’m not sure.

Heath’s POV:

“Is she going to be okay?” I ask the doctor, panicking, not knowing what to do. I just feel like I want to punch Andy even though he isn’t the cause of this.

“The only thing that we know for sure right now is that her heart is okay. But we’re unable to know anything other than that. It seems like she’s in a comma because she’s not responding to anything. She hasn’t moved one inch of herself since the moment her friend got her here. She was lucky for having only small bruises."

“You say she’s in a comma and she’s lucky she doesn’t have major injuries, what the hell is this kind of luck?” I lose my temper. Andy tries to calm me down. “Wake her up!” I yell at the doctor. 

Andy looks me straight in the eyes and tells me to calm down. We just stare at each other for what seems like an eternity. I’ve lost words to say.

I push Andy away and go straight to the doctor. I feel my heartbeats racing as I walk toward him. “ Please, you need to wake her up,“ I say as weakly and desperately as nothing that ever got out of my mouth sounded like.

“We’re trying our best. Talking to her could help. Your and her friend here,” he  looks toward Eleanor who has been quite since the time i got here. Sitting on the chair next to Sasha’s bed and staring at her. “seem to be really close to her, you should talk to her. In some cases like Sasha’s, when their loved ones talked to them constantly, we assume, it triggered something in their bodies or hearts and it woke them up from their commas,” the doctor continues. 

I don’t say a word. Andy nods and the doctor leaves the room. I stare at Sasha for as long as I can. Andy interrupts and comes to stand in front of me. “You heard what the doctor said. There’s hope, we need to talk to her. You need to talk to her.”

I still can’t comprehend the idea and the words leave my mouth before i think them through.

"Talk to her? she can’t even hear me. She can’t move a bone in her body, Andy! How the hell is she going to hear me? What am I going to tell her, anyway? Sorry for wasting the whole time we were together on trying to figure out why my head is so fucked up? Thank you for putting up with my shit? sorry I wasn’t there when the accident happened?” I find my voice turning into yelling by the second.

“Stop,” What seems like Eleanor’s voice says.

“Just stop,” she repeats while her head is resting between her hands. She looks devastated. I’m devastated, too. I think I am. I mean I still don’t understand why or how Sasha is laying in that bed. But it seems bad. My feet lead me out of the room and out to the fresh air. I need to breath and comprehend this. Before I even think about asking, Andy starts to speak.

“ I was with Eleanor on the phone. She was following her because she felt something unusual in Sasha’s behaviour. She saw her turn into a corner and she couldn’t see who she met.” 

I stare at the cars coming from the right and disappearing when they reach the left side of the street. Just disappearing from my sight, of course. I don’t understand what Andy is telling me. I mean, I get that’s he’s telling me what happened but I don’t understand why.

He continues, “She waited. Eleanor, I mean. Then, after a while she saw Sasha coming out from the same corner and she was yelling at the person she was with. That person was Red.” Heat suddenly builds up in my knuckles. Red? Red was there when it happened?

“Who?” I ask not because I haven’t heard him the first time but because I want my ears to be wrong. 

“I’m not saying his name again. I don’t think they were meeting for something that important but I thought you should know. I don’t want to hide stuff. “ 

“Yeah, obviously. That’s why a picture of us when we were young was hidden under your bed. Because you don’t want to hide stuff. You just casually chose to put it there and never speak of it.” I don't know how that picture still managed to creep into me and trigger my anger when all I'm thinking about right now is Sasha. It seems like my anger towards Andy still hasn't faded."

“Heath, I-“

“Save it. Anything you want to say is not worth it now. I have to think of a way to bring back Sasha to me. I can’t lose her.”

Andy walks small steps in a circle, over and over again. He seems lost. We all are.

“You won’t,” is what he manages to say after what seems like a while.