Mad Men

III- "when the party's over."

Wendsday

Marsy

Oh, how I hated life.

The time of that stupid clock slowed by the minute.

For sakes keeping, it was only 2nd period.

The second of the seven classes that I hated to a tee.

I kept reminding myself just six more months until I would blow this joint.

But then I reminded myself of James, he was only a junior.

I thought of the question that posed a challenge to me every day.

"Would I risk my freedom for a boy who whose broken?"

Sometimes, I told myself yes without a hesitation and other times, I told myself no.

I told myself I had to help him overcome his grief.

And be a good girlfriend.

But, I also despised how I was the one left to carry his sadness.

I knew I felt this way because in reality, I wasn't a good person.

As my mind continue to stray into the daydreaming zone,

I asked myself,

"How could I help someone when all i wanted to do was help myself?"

My mom often tends to tell me that

'no one ever cares for you and whatever you do. They only want to see theirselves succeed. If you're in a competition, do you want the latter to win? No, you strive to beat the other until all you can do is lose.'

And Mama was right.

Mama was always right.

Listen to my mom's ideals led me to garner a series of beliefs of running away from this place.

Oh, how I loathed everyone in this school, including my boyfriend and his thing of a bestfriend.

It wasn't on purpose.

It was just my nature.

If people thought I was a evildoer, guess what?

I already knew that.

Yet, no one at this school was any better than me.

They'd all selfishly care for themselves if put at risk.

So ironic.

A smug look crossed my face as I dug my pencil deeper into the wood of the smooth desk.

My mind filled with crazy illusions.

I would love to see them all rot i-

"MISS MARSY!"

Startling my whole lovelihood, I stumbled out the words, "Yes, Ma'am?"

"I've called your name three times. Please for the thirtieth time. STOP DAYDREAMING IN MY CLASS."

"Understood."

What could I way, her class was the 3rd most boring class I'd ever tooken at this school.

Therefore, technically it wasn't my fault.

Rings

After that class, I stepped into the bathroom, making sure no one was in there, and popped in a few of my 'medicinal' pills.

Anti-psychotics.

They weren't illegal.

I wasn't that average girl who was a druggie of course.