Primal

Chapter Twenty-One

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Chapter Twenty-One

 

The ache for home lives in all of us, the safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned. ~Maya Angelou

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It had been months since he had left her on that mountain, many seasons flying by in what felt like no time at all. He had never gone back to the market town to look for Tilly, but he automatically assumed that both her and Zander were happy together. It was nice thought, that everyone else found happiness but him. Maybe Noor was living back in the Nocarae city, maybe she had found someone who was actually good for her. Maybe. The word maybe was so temporary, passing his mind in a single thought. She might be happy, but she also might be miserable. She might be living, but she also could be long dead. Every time he thought about her he had to somehow convince himself not to try to find her. Every bone and every nerve inside of him wanted to find her.

His dreams about Noor continued despite their parting, and the images were somehow becoming more graphic as every night passed. He still managed to not try to find her at all, his feet taking him farther away from the mountains than he had ever gone before. If he were to find her, there was no way to tell what he would ruin. She could be back at home, she could have someone now, she could be happy. He couldn’t ruin all of that for her. At least, he couldn’t ruin her life all over again.

He was dreaming about her now, but for once in the dream she was not dying. She was running through the trees happily, stopping to pick berries as she went. Her lips always did taste like berries, so in his mind he somehow connected them to her. He could only imagine her eating them constantly, the juices sinking into her lips like a sponge so that was all they would taste like.

Tilly was in a clearing now, spinning with her arms spread out and a large smile on her face. Her wings were working now, both of them spread out behind her and waving in and out in the wind. Her body began to hover, rising up slowly as she continued to spin. She looked so happy, and Aeron could feel his lips form into a smile despite it being a dream. He had missed her so much that all he seemed to do anymore was sleep, allowing her to fill his heart in the dream world.

 

She spotted him and began to fly towards him slowly, a huge smile on her face. “Aeron!” She called out to him, her hands stretching out towards him. “I missed you so much!” Dream Noor was a lot more affectionate than the real Noor, her hands gently brushing against his face happily. “I miss you, Aeron. Come back to me.” She whispered, her lips touching his gently before she flung backwards, laughing as she flew higher into the air and away from him.

 

He called out after her, begging her to come back to him. No matter how many times he called out to her, she only raised higher into the air. She said that he should come back to her, and then flew away. Now both the Noors were just as confusing, and he watched the dream Noor hover above him. He began to climb up the nearest tree to try to reach her, but she was constantly out of his reach.

 

Then he looked across the clearing, and Tilly was almost exactly at the same height on an opposing tree. She smiled wickedly, waving softly at him in acknowledgment. They both knew what she was about to do, and his eyes grew wide. He yelled out, his hands outstretched as he fell from the tree. As he fell, he watched Tilly jump onto Noor’s back and take her out. Blood danced in the air, the droplets floating as if all gravity was forgotten.

 

Tilly wasn’t there when Noor hit the ground beside him, and Aeron automatically intertwined his fingers with her cold ones. She was dead now, but Aeron believed that he was too. Neither of them existed as of then, just figments of Aeron’s imagination. Noor’s pale head turned, her numb eyes looking at him. He had seen her dead so many times, but for some reason this time was so much different from the rest.

 

When he woke up, there was a huge piece of his heart missing. Not literally, but that sure was what it felt like. His hands gripped at his chest, holding onto it as a small sob escaped his chest. He had to stop it; he had to save her. He knew that none of his dreams had come true in the past, but all of the possibilities were there. This dream felt realer than the rest. He had felt her hands on him, he had smelt the berries and the tree leaves, he had felt her presence surrounding him. He shakily stood to his feet, brushing off the leaves that clung to him. They were desperately hanging on as if they wanted to leave their destined spot under the tree, but he couldn’t take any passengers on his trip. He had to find Noor, and he couldn’t have even more weight clinging onto his own.

 

He started walking then, his body exhausted but mind reenergized. Aeron had no way to track her down, no way to catch her scent, but his heart would guide him to her.

It was tacky. It wasn’t possible. But it was all he had.