Mason Jar

Chapter Six: For I Have Sinned

MASON JAR

CHAPTER SIX

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Mason's POV

She doesn't know.

She doesn't know in a few weeks, I'm going to be a dad.

A son.

She doesn't need to know.

No more weights on her shoulder.

It's better off this way.

If my head is cracked open, anyone can clearly see that my brain is filled with her.

I spend at least thirty minutes every morning just staring at the ceiling, unable to move my body away from my dark thoughts. I wake up, I opened my eyes, I stare at the ceiling - that's it. Sometimes a phone call, or a knock at my door will pull me out of my living nightmare.

My body alarmed woke me too fucking early.

The clock hanging on the wall opposite the bed shows it's only fucking 6.37 am.

My head hurts so bad from the hangover.

I don't remember much except I dragged myself to the club last night and drink until my vision went empty. As per usual, my goal was to forget everything and numb the pain. Another day, another reckless mistake I made. At this point, I just don't fucking care.

I don't even know what to do, what to achieve, how to fix all the damages I've done.

I used to be the guy who plans every single detail in his life, I know what I wanted to do, i know what I wanted to accomplish. I have a cum laude degree, I successfully took over my dad's company and I had the perfect girl by my side, until the ignorant in me decided to show up years later and fucked up the whole picture into broken pieces.

One mistake, and I lost my most precious possession.

Emery.

I miss her so fucking bad it hurts.

From the day she walked out of my life, I don't feel like myself anymore. The guy I used to be is no longer here. She took a piece of me with her and she didn't know it. My heart will always be hers and I wouldn't have it any other way.

That one night in Gold Coast was the biggest mistake of my life, I shouldn't let it happen, but I did. The damage is done and there's nothing I can do about it. What I should do is man up, own my mistake, and move on. But I choose to be a coward.

I don't know how to solve my problems, thinking about it just encourages me going for the club and get drunk, and I already do this for months now.

Wake up, work, club, getting wasted, sleep, wake up, work, club, getting wasted, sleep, repeat.

Sometimes I got too wasted until I couldn't function the next day.

Some days I would even vomit until it feels like my organs are being ripped out of my body.

I actually think getting wasted is the only thing I can do to get myself distracted, or else I'll go insane.