Amnesia~Minsung 💕

IV

Jisung's perspective

I've been learning so much over the past few days. The boy named Minho who I am apparently dating keeps coming to visit for hours on end every single day while my friends who are called Felix and Seungmin come to check on me everyday for about an hour each.

I am so thankful for these three as I would be very lost with out them. I am starting to learn what my life was like but I still have a lot to catch up on.

The other day Seungmin had brought a boy named Hyunjin with him to visit me. Hyunjin was apparently his boyfriend who hurt him with a misunderstanding. Hyunjin was very charming and I completely understand why Seungmin would go for a guy like him. He's just a little too cocky for my likings but thats okay.

I am starting to learn piece by piece. I learned that my parents died in a car crash when I was around 3 or 4 because I asked to see them and the Minho boy had to inform me. I wasn't really that sad by it because I didn't remember anything about them. I'm sure past Jisung didn't either though by the stories I hear. Either that or he had really bad memories so he never talked about them. I understand why I mean I wouldn't either.

It seems weird that I'm that person I'm talking about. The person who seemed to have almost everything he could possibly need. He had a loving boyfriend, some really caring friends and enough money to be happy. It's weird to know that he was willing to throw all of that out the window. Or rather, I was. I had shot myself in an attempt to end my life. I was the one who stole that gun and then pulled the trigger in my apartment. That was me. I'm that same Jisung. That Jisung is me.

I wonder exactly what he was feeling that made him do it. From what I've heard Jisung, well I saw Minho hanging out his with childhood friend named Tagi and got jealous. I saw some things and I got the wrong idea and thought he was cheating. Apparently Felix believes now that it was all a misunderstanding but Seungmin thinks that it was all real and Minho was a cheating asshole.

I really don't know what the real story was but that doesn't matter anymore. Minho clearly loved me because he I'm cut all ties with Tagi and hasn't talked to her since.. the incident. I really didn't want him to do that but I wasn't going to change his mind so I didn't bother trying. He was content on treating me the way I apparently deserved to be treated. He wanted to make it up to me.

I really didn't need him to make it up to me though. I mean I liked the attention and he was a really nice and charming guy but I'm not quite sure about him. I mean he's pretty much the ideal boyfriend, but do I really like him like that? Anyhow I'm not hurt by his past actions as I can't remember what he did or how I felt. How past Jisung felt. I was really unsure about the whole situation but I've come to terms with it. I have accepted that I'm no longer that Jisung, I'm a new person. I may have the same body and name as that Jisung but now I'm a new man. I don't know anything about past Jisung and honestly don't think much like he did.

I mean I had the same friends as him, I adored Felix and Seungmin, I wouldnt give them up for anything. But do I still have the same interests? Do I still react the same to sertain things? I'm not sure. Apparently I really loved romantic dates and hated thriller actions. I mean I would love to go on a romantic date don't get me wrong about that. Thats not different I still would love that. Just, I feel like I'm enjoying thriller more. I want go go sky diving and bungie jumping and I want to jump off a bridge into a river. I swear I'm not suicidal anymore, new mindset. I just want the wind to hit my face and the adrenaline to kick in.

I really wish I was like the old Jisung, his life seemed nice. But I have come to accept that I'm me and thats okay. The old Han Jisung is gone now, just an everlasting memory that people will soon forget about and maybe have nostalgic thoughts about every now and again but he's gone now. I'm not sure if he will return or not but until then I am a new person. It's time for the new Han Jisung to make his entrance.

This is a new era.