Amnesia~Minsung 💕

V

Jisung's perspective

Today marks the day I will take my first step since I got here. I had Minho at my side but I was really nervous. I didn't know how to walk! He grabs my arm and as my feet his the ground I feel uneasy, my balance was immediately thrown off and I almost fell face first onto the ground. Luckily Minho was there to support me so I didn't fall.

Once I get a feel of balance I feel the second wave of discomfort. My body weight came crashing down on me. Suddenly my knees felt like they were going to buckle under me because my body was so god damn heavy. I straighten myself up and feel very wobbly.

"How do you people do this all the time." I gasp as I try to take a few steps. "I'm so heavy and my balance is so off."

"You'll get there, you just need to get a feel and a momentum going for yourself then your brain will take over." Minho tells me sweetly.

I nod to him. "Thank you." I say as I take my first step.

"You're welcome." He says as he helps me balance.

I felt so weird, I felt like now that my legs weren't directly under me anymore that my body was going to snap my legs off and come crashing down. But I pushed pass that and stepped forward with my other foot, straightening myself up. I felt out of breath after that step. It felt as if I had just run a marathon or something. My heart was pounding and I was out of breath. I felt exhausted and I had only taken a single step. How the heck to humans do this everyday?!

Minho seemed to hear into my head as he said, "The reason you're so tired is because you haven't moved much in like 7 or 8 months by now. Your body isn't used to it."

I nod in understanding. "Oh I guess that makes sense."

I take a few more steps forward, taking a good few minutes per step. This was a serious workout and I haven't even let go of Minho's arm. I can't imagine how hard this will be once I have to let go and try it on my own. This was such a pain, I think I'd much rather just take the wheelchair option.

I sigh as I look at Minho. "I give up, can I try again tomorrow instead? I'm way too weak to continue."

"Of course baby." He smiles to me.

I'm not sure if it was because he was my boyfriend and I liked the idea of having a boyfriend or simply because I still had those old feelings  it my stomach and heart felt all tingly and weird. I really don't know if I still like Minho or not. It might just be because I knew that old Jisung loved him dearly and I was grasping to remember more about him. I wasn't necessarily him anymore but I was still  intrigued to know the type of person he was and what he was like. Or I was and liked I guess. This is all just really confusing and I didn't understand anything yet but I was getting better.

I was coming to terms with the accident and that there is no way I can go back and change the now and that all I can do is try to get better and live on as the new Jisung. The person I am now. I have to live on as him and stay happy, not dwell on some stories about the past that may or may not be real, I'll never know.

I wish I was still him dearly, I wish the accident never happened and I could be happy as him and not live with being a person trapped in another person's body and having to live his life. What if the old Jisung is out there somewhere? What if he's just waiting to be rescued from some sort of endless abyss of nothingness? Even worse, what if he has to watch the new Jisung and his Minho be together while he just grasps to memories? While we make new ones? That must really suck, I really hope that's not the case. I hope his soul had found peace, or that he is me and he will come out one day. I really hope but I'm truly not sure.

There's no way to tell with this stuff.