modern life is rubbish | d.a

three: "ready to go?"

taking slow sips from my cup of coffee, i scanned the room effortlessly, picturing the aesthetic of the small cafe. the following year, 1991, started off remarkably, each day bringing its own tales. we were now in mid-january, and as much as i'm studying intensely for university, i've been experiencing the best time of my life out of the draining two years.

since meeting damon, i've begun to sort my life out a little bit. after the night of new years, it evoked something fresh in our newly formed acquaintance. instead of going days without a single call, he tried to ring everyday; you deserve someone greeting you in the morning, he continuously emphasised. our relationship grew close instantaneously - we'd talk on the phone for hours each day if possible. he would always insist that i should go out more, and that studying english literature for university won't get me anywhere but journalism if i tried. thanks for the support, idiot. no worries, love.

love. short, cocky, dismissive. although that is a common nickname everyone uses, whether it being loving or derisive, the way that simple word rolls off his tongue so smoothly, captivates me. draws me in for more, as if to say, this isn't finished. he's used it on me countless amounts of times, whether to tease me or compliment me, i'd never know. what i did know was, every single time, it would make my heart race, my palms sweaty, my mind numb, my mere thoughts being bewitched by the simple tag.

i'd wonder how many girls he's used it on, either to pick her up, or to be polite. his looks were infatuating, it's only understandable that girls would fall for it in an instant. if anything, they would've fallen for it before it was even used. his warming, soft london accent is enrapturing. a small, hey love, would most indefinitely trap anyone who was caught in his sudden radar. hey love, can i buy you a drink? or even a hey love, my name's damon, would you like to sit with me for a bit?

him in general was mesmerising. he's probably never even heard of the word no before.

whenever he had a free spot with his time, he tried to meet me, even if it was for a simple 15-minute-coffee-down-the-road, although that was very rare. having a friend like damon around was new territory to me; i only had a few friends excluding him, and since we're all studying for finals this term, it was quite difficult trying to hang out, but we still did if we were able to take an hour or two away from the books - that usually turning into the entire day.

the mere thoughts of leaving university finally brought my nerves; it eventually reaches everyone, but for the timei've spent, sitting, mindlessly working for days on end and not being able to have the time to take a break and only recently finding the joy in it all, it muddled me up. it was the end of an era and the start of something new, and i wasn't sure if anyone was ready to face what is seemingly known as the real world.

"hello? earth to louise?," said my friend, justine, who was wavering a hand in my face trying to get my attention - once again.

"oh right, sorry," i bit my lip solemnly as her facial expression panned into something less pleasing.

"what's bothering you? you've been zoning out the entire time we've been talking," she asked, whilst i fidgeted with my skinny fingers. "you know you can talk to me about anything,"

i sighed coherently, staring into her eyes. "it's not so much something bothering me, but just on my mind. fixated on my mind,"

"is it a person?" she wiggled her eyebrows, causing my stomach to flip and turn as i laughed softly from the nerves.

"i guess you could say that," my eyes began wandering around the small coffee bar. it had a vintage, rustic look, with very dim lighting accompanied by the outside gloom shining through the windows. there are multiple reasons why i could and had zoned out; this place was gorgeous, and how university is ending soon, but i had decided to blurt out the one thing i isolated inside of me for days on end.