The Great Misadventures of Classic Rock's Finest

Johnbot

Yay! Another story! This time, it's written with my very good friend @GorgingGeorge !

Also the following contains a poor portrayal of southern accents. It's for the funnies, not to offend. Thanks.

-Pretz

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It was a day unlike any other, at first anyways. I mean, unless this wasn't the first time you got abducted by alien Beatlemaniacs. This was a definite first for John Lennon as he was walking down the street to his recording studio.

"What's this? Weatherman said there wouldn't be a cloud in the sky."

"WE ARE ALIENS. WE HAVE COME TO TAKE YOU, JOHN LEMMON. WE ALSO ONLY SPEAK IN CAPS." Then John was suddenly lifted into the sky and was sucked up in a giant toaster.

"GREAT IDEA DISGUISING THE SHIP TO LOOK LIKE A HUMAN OBJECT." A voice from the ship said, "WAIT, IS THE MIC STILL ON?" The toaster flew away in a puff of smoke and glitter.

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"Good morning, John! I made burnt tires for breakfast!" Ringo exclaimed. He handed John a plate of some black substance that made the room smell like moldy carpet stains.

"Thank ya, Ringo. It's quat delicious. You should cook more awften." John said, he didn't actually have a taste of whatever Ringo cooked, this version of John couldn't even eat. He found himself thankful for that.

Ringo gasped, "REALLY?! THAT'S THE NICEST THING YOU'VE SAID TO ME IN 7 YEARS!!!!!!!"

"Hey, I like what you did with you hair, Johnny. Blue looks good on you." George commented, not looking up from the newspaper. He was reading an article about how Mickey Mouse is actually Michael Jordan and is secretly part of a worldwide conspiracy selling doorknobs for ridiculous prices.

"What you talkin' 'bout? My hair was always blue." John responded, combing his blue locks of hair, "anyways, what will we be doin' today?" This version of John also had a southern accent that none of the others were smart enough or even competent to catch.

"You called us over here because you had a new song idea you wanted to share with us. I mean, you called us just past midnight saying you couldn't wait until it was actually time for us to go to work. But now that we're all here, what's your little idea?"

"OH! Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm......."

If you hadn't guessed by now, this John wasn't the real Beatle, but in fact a robot! And a very obvious one at that.

"Um, I wanted to show ya....not a sawng....but...a..........NEW RELIGION I'M WORKIN' ON!!!!!"

"Religion?"

"Yeah, it's called the Religion of Jawn Lemmon."

"Why not use your real name?"

"UUUUUUHHHHHHHHHH because otherwas people will find out that it's really me. No wun will be able to tayl if I change TWO letters of m'name." John stated triumphantly.

"Oh, that's genius." George mumbled, "what else is in your new religion?"

"I also got us worshipin' walrus statues and sittin' awn coneflakes for every ritual we do in Lemmonism! And of course let's not forget abaut settin' Norwegian cottages on faer unless the girls who live in them sleep wi'me." John cackled. "Oh! And free Jaffa cakes for all who join."

"Well that does sound pretty nice. How can I convert to Lemmonism?" Ringo asked, interested in his best friend's new way of life.

"You must eat a hunder coneflakes in one sittin' and say you will forevuh obay Master Lennon."