Finding Love | ✔️

fourteen

/Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it. Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it. Hatred darkens life; love illuminates it.

~ Martin Luther King Jr./

♡

I sit on the train, looking out of the window. The dark town whisks by, the colours of the buildings passing and passing until they blend into one big blur.

In my hand, I unveil the last thing that Claudia had given me. It turns out that she'd slipped two things in my hand: the train ticket and one of Leopald's little glass paintings. It's a small circle with little purple lilac flowers painted all around it. It's beautiful. When I hold it up in the light, I can see the different shades of violet and blue and white and grey.

I want to cry for him, I really do, but it's like my tears have been used up. Instead, I'm smiling. This little glass piece makes me feel warm. Like he's here with me. I'm also smiling because of Claudia, who managed to give me so much in such little time: Leo's painting, my freedom, and more importantly...myself. She's given me me. For the past few months, I'd lost myself in this ugly person called Lilac. I'd forgotten who April was, and that cost me so much. Claudia's last words echo in my mind. "Give yourself the chance to be April again." April. April. I giggle quietly to myself as I realize she knew my name.

I look over, remembering there's a large man next to me, but he's fast asleep. As the train speeds on, I drift off into a deep sleep.

***

The journey was eight hours, but I've finally arrived. I hop off the train, collect my little luggage and head off. I'm really not sure where I am, or where I'm going. For some reason, I'm not as scared as I should be. I feel a positive vibe going on, and I like it. I'm now on the main road, and the city bustles with activity. Everything looks 'normal'. No weird or conspicuous colours, no neon lights or anything of the sort. There are tall buildings that reach the sky, and the city is covered in either pavement or road. Everyone's in business suits. I like it.

I just walk about, observing this new city around me. It's called Glamis. As evening begins to encroach upon the city, the skyscrapers fade into a distant silhouette and the sky turns grey. I don't have anywhere to sleep. But the night is young and warm, so I tell myself not to worry. I'll find something, I know I will.

As I continue to make my way around the city, the night begins to wake and I find myself in the fresh stir of Glamis' night life. There seems to be a bar, or restaurant - or bar and restaurant - on every corner. As I have some money saved, I finally allow myself to enter one; it's called La Dolce Vita. It appears very cozy where beige leather seats and pretty wooden coffee tables are dispersed all around. The lights hang down from the ceiling, and they're slightly orange. The walls are full of paintings of people. They all look like happy people: there's a woman having a coffee with her fiancé on this one. There's a kid riding a bicycle on the other. Aware that I've been standing for ages, I take a seat.

"May I help you?" a nice looking man comes up to me. His name tag reads Max. With a friendly smile, he offers me a menu. I scan it with my eyes. There's soup and pasta and pizza and tiramisu and lasagna and bruschetta and my taste buds are falling to bits. It looks glorious.

"I'll just have a coffee and some chocolate cake," I nod, telling myself to have self control.

"Anything else?" He asks, seemingly unconvinced.

"No, thank you."

He walks away, his head bobbing to some imaginary tune. Suddenly, I feel the urge to go to the bathroom, but there aren't any signs around. I decide to try and find them myself. I walk around but I barely see anything. Then, I take a turn that leads me into what looks like a different side of the restaurant. It's a grey corridor with one black door, and I let myself in.

There's loud music.

There are people dancing rowdily.

I've walked into a nightclub.

The atmosphere, despite the fact that it smells of sweat and alcohol, is electric. The door that I entered from turns out to be the upper floor of the club, such that I'm looking down on a mass of drunken humans getting it on. It's entertaining, and I want to join the fun, but I'm seventeen. I slowly walk back in the direction I came in.

While I'm taking the turn back into La Dolce Vita, I hear some voices.

"Another one quit?! Why the hell does this keep happening! Che palle! Our numbers are growing but our staff is down in the dumps!"

"Relax Antonio, I am finding people."

"Yes but all these people you are finding are just walking away! Davide, you need to have found three new female employees in a week. Look for desperate troia, who shall not leave us."

"I'm handling it."

"Now go back and make the drinks. Vaffanculo, fuck off."

I shrug it off and return to my seat.

"I thought you'd ran away," Max appears behind me. "Here's your cake and coffee."

"Sorry...I was just looking for the bathroom."

"Oh! It's right behind you!" He smiles and nods in the direction, and I acknowledge him. Feeling a little daft, I chomp down on the cake. It's bloody great, and I feel pretty much invincible after I'm done. I call Max and pay for the food, leaving him with the change. I'm out in the city again, and it's late.

A figure walks by. It's a kid, singing to himself.

"Nobody knows the trouble I've seen," He hums.

He's got a gorgeous voice, like that of a blues singer. It's not completely black that I can't see, because the city is lit up. He's got shabby clothes on, and he trudges along as if he's about to drop down. By instinct, I find myself following him.

"Excuse me," I say, tapping his shoulder. He turns around. He's got dark brown eyes and dark skin. His hair is nappy, but he's combed it neatly. He stares at me, waiting for me to say something.

"Yes?" He says.

"Do you know somewhere I can sleep? I'm lost and alone and I don't know where to go." Before I know it, a stream of tears begin flowing out. From the corner of my eyes, I can see his face contorting into a ball of pity, and he holds my hand.

"I'll take you to my family. They're very nice and comforting, and they'll give you somewhere to sleep for as long as you want."

"Thank you."

The world seems to have its own weird balance, I think. There are so many bad people, like Jason and her and Ingrid. But, there are also many good people present. And in this moment, as I follow this African-American boy, I feel like the good can sometimes outweigh the bad.

That is, until he leads me into a dark and abandoned three-storey parking lot.

♡

Hey! Apologies for such a long wait - I've been in school. Hope you enjoyed this chapter, the next one's coming out soon! x