Loki's Adoration

Mind Games

Loki's POV

I can't believe what happened yesterday. First I almost kissed Tony and then I actually kissed Valkyrie. I feel butterflies when I think about either of them. How can I have feelings for two people when I've never had feelings before in my life. What was so different about them and why them? I turned off my phone last night when I got off of the phone with Valkyrie before I went to her house. I didn't want any texts or calls from Tony. I still haven't turned it on after last night. I have to face both of them today in the first class and I'm not happy about it. Especially about facing Valkyrie. I walked out after we kissed. Can I be anymore stupid?

-

Class has started and no sign of Valkyrie. Tony is sitting in the back of the classroom and I can feel his eyes burning a hole through the back of my head. I haven't looked at him at all or talked to him. He hasn't tried to talk to me at all either. I wonder where Valkyrie is. As soon as the thought enters my mind she walks in. She sits in the desk right next to me just like yesterday and I don't know if I should say anything. She looks normal but the vibe I'm getting is kind of awkward. She writes something in her notebook and rips out the page. She passes it to me and it says:

"Hey don't worry about last night. I know you were vulnerable and I understand if you just needed a distraction. No hard feelings."

I crumble the paper and I feel so bad right now. She was not just a distraction. I actually felt something last night. But of course I can't tell her that right now so I just look over at her and give her a thumbs up. I can't wait to be able to tell her how I'm feeling. But first I need to know how I'm feeling. I still have Tony in the back of my head and I need to make sure I'm totally over him before trying to persue something with Valkyrie.

-

In my CS&E class the teacher wants us to work on our projects in class. Tony and I haven't even started and don't even have an idea of what we're making. Tony sits at the table right next to me and says, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel like I was just using you. It's just I'm new to th-." "Save it." I say interrupting him. "I bet you say this to all the girls and apparently guys you sleep with. You don't have to apologize I already know your intentions. Let's just work on the project and move on." "What's your problem?" Tony asks. "My problem is you. You walk around here like you're 'Mr. It' and you don't have a care in the world while you cheat on your girlfriend and sleep with every person under the sun. You play with people and use your stupid charm and good looks and nice smile to get whatever you want." I say slamming my pencil down.  "Thanks?" He says. "But I don't sleep with 'everyone under the sun' and I don't know why you would think that. You told me yesterday that Valkyrie was right about me and I don't know what she said but she was wrong. I'm not who you think I am and I actually like you. Don't ask me why I just do. Like I was saying before I'm new to this. I'm not a 'have feelings' kind of guy. Yeah I'm usually one for one night stands but that does not define who I am. So will you lose the attitude and chill?" Did Tony just say he likes me? Or wait. Are these mind games? If they are they're working. Tony is freaking hot when he's serious. That was like.. a turn on? I'm lost for words right now. I don't know what to say and Tony and I are just staring at each other. "Okay." I say nodding my head and then looking down at my notes. "Good." Tony says. Once I take in everything Tony said I realize he did say he likes me. I start to blush at the thought of it. The butterflies are coming back. Wow you got me good with all these mind games Tony. Now I'm more confused than ever. I decide not to focus on that right now and come up with an idea for our project. We both decide to make a lifeless vibration Android. I don't really know what it is but Tony is really excited about it and agreed to do most of the hands on work if I agreed to the research. He wants to call it "JARVIS". It sounds super cool and will definitely give us an A. Watching Tony be so passionate about something is attractive. Watching him glow from being so excited about engineering something makes me feel the greatest feeling ever. The way his eyes light up and he does his little smile, It's really indescribable.

-

After class Tony and I decide to stay behind after everyone leaves to get a little bit more done on our project. I stop for a minute and look at Tony. He looks back at me. "What?" He asks. "I have a question and I just really want you to be serious and truthful with me." I say. "Okay." "Do you actually like me?" I ask. Tony stops working and looks me right in my eyes. Then he says, "Look. I'm gonna be honest, I've never been a 'relationship' or 'feelings' type of guy. What I feel for you is- ... it's-... I don't know Loki. I will say that I do actually like you. You make me feel something I haven't felt with anyone else. And if we're being honest I haven't even felt this with pepper." I just sit there quietly. I feel like my heart might jump out of my chest. Feeling something for someone and having them feel the same way is euphoric. Then I realize. Pepper. "Break up with pepper." I say. "What? Break up with Pepper?" Tony starts to laugh. "I give him a look and he stops laughing. "Oh you're serious?" "Yeah I am. If you feel how you say you do, I think breaking up with pepper would be the first step to-." "First step to what?" He says cutting me off. "To you and I? Do you even like me? Or guys for that matter? I literally just told you how I felt and you haven't told me anything. I see you with Valkyrie and she's into you." "Valkyrie into me? HA! That was so funny." I say. "Are you that clueless? I actually think you're playing with both of us. You told me in the library that Valkyrie was right about me and you haven't even gotten to know me for me. You think I'm just going to break up with my girlfriend because I have some feelings for you? I'm literally the king of one night stands feelings don't mean a thing." He says. "Wow. You got me good with all these mind games." I say. I put my head down and stare at the paper in front of me. I'm really hurt at this moment. He's always so sweet then so sour. What's wrong with him? He literally confessed his feelings to me and suddenly took them all back over one comment. I'm sorry Tony that I haven't told you how I feel. I don't know how I feel. Between you and Valkyrie I'm really confused. I put my stuff in my bag and leave. "I'll see you tomorrow." I say. "Loki wait." He says. But I ignore him and keep going. Then I stop. I decide to stop running away from how I feel. I don't know what came over me but all of my feelings I've been holding in come out. "You want to know how I feel? I feel like you're the most handsome person in the world. Your perfect smile lights up a room and I can't help but stare. I like the little strand of hair falls on your face. I like the way you're so passionate about this class. Watching you talk about this project and become so excited about it makes me melt. I like how charismatic you are and you're so smart and I've even seen a generous side to you. You're so much more than you give yourself credit for because all you ever do it sleep around." Tony gets up and starts walking toward me. "I really dislike how you're such a big flirt and you have to give every single girl your attention. Why can't I get that attention? I haven't told you how I feel because I haven't felt this and I don't think I'm straight anymore and I want to be with you and-." Tony stops me with a kiss. The kiss felt electrifying. His lips were so soft and he's a really good kisser. I feel a connection between us, but I also felt this with Valkyrie. I don't want to think about her right now. I enjoy the kiss then Tony pulls away, he smiles and says "I'll break up with Pepper." "Really?" Me and another voice asks at the same time. Tony and I turn around to see Pepper standing in the doorway.