My Best Mistake ✓

37

The flowers were bright and colorful, resonating life like Mi-so's smile in the picture. I was sitting on the floor back against the wall in the funeral home with Jae Chan next to me. The tears had stopped flowing ever since that night which had evaporated into a numbness I had only felt once before. After getting back, jet lag turned into insomnia.

"Bo-Ra..." Hong Joo walked into the room wearing a black dress and a distressed look on her face. Her arms wrapped around me as she sat next to me on the floor.

Not many people came. Only Mi-so's old coworkers. We never had many relatives. Mom and dad were both only children. Thus, the loneliness.

Jae Chan ruffled his coat and got up to walk towards the altar. He stretched up to place the yellow lollipop he had been clenching in his hand all day in front of her picture.

Still, smiling huh?

We sat there in silence until in the corner of my eye blurred seven dark silhouettes. The boys came in their dark clothes but brought with them a warmth I had missed so much.

"Hey..." Jin's voice was soft and quiet. Jae Chan got up to run towards Jimin and Jungkook who picked him up walking away to cheer him up. Hong Joo got up to go talk to Yoongi with Jin replacing her and sitting next to me. I felt the warmth of his hand on my shoulder, a warmth I missed so much.

"Mi-so wouldn't like to see you so sad."

I sat there quietly eyeing the basket of letters that sat beneath the altar. I hadn't touched them. I didn't have it in me.

Jin noticed what I was staring at and got up to grab the basket and place them on his lap our backs still leaning against the wall. He started to murmur to himself.

"Jae Chan's 5th birthday..."

"6th..."

"7th..."

"10th..."

"21st..."

"Graduation..."

"Jae Chan's wedding..."

"I think this one's for you," he slowly guided his arm towards me a letter in his hand.

To: Bo-Ra

"Jin..." I looked up him with no energy in my eyes.

"What if we read it together?" his eyes were still so big and glassy.

He scooted closer to me and began tearing the letter open, "Do you want me to read it to you...?"

I slowly nodded comforted by his voice.

He took a breathe and spoke.

"Dear Bo-Ra,

By the time you're reading this, I am not there anymore. And before you start crying please don't. Or at least try. I know it'll be hard. You won't have me by your side while you take care of Jae Chan. I have placed a burden on you I wish I didn't have but Jae Chan needs you and you need someone. So that's Jae Chan. Thank you with all my heart. I can rest now knowing he is safe and so are you. Here are some tips for taking care of him.

One. He'll eat his vegetables don't worry. He especially loves broccoli that's cooked in butter in a pan with shallots.

Two. You already know this but he loves his lollipops. Use them as bait. Wink. Wink. But make sure he doesn't get cavities.

Three. Always tell him I have loved him and will continue to love him forever. If he ever thinks otherwise you're doing something wrong.

Four. Make sure you bake him a chocolate cake for his birthday. Any other cake and he will freak out.

Five. This one isn't really about Jae Chan. Bo-Ra. Please do not let my absence hinder your life. You've let mom and dad's absences affect you so much already. Please. Let go of mom. She isn't worth daydreaming about. But never forget dad. I know you don't remember him but he loved you so much. Do not think of us as gone. We will always be by your side and will always love you. Live. Love. Be free of the chains that have wrapped around your heart for so many years. Run free and never stop..."

There were tears in my eyes that started to leak out. That someone who had a hold on my heart finally let go of it.

Jin's arm wrapped around me harder until I laid my head in the crook of his neck. He kissed the top of my head and continued.

"Go and have a family. Be happy. Go be with Jin. He seems like a keeper..."

Jin let out a little chuckle and I smiled letting out a little laugh along with him.

"Why my handsome face is definitely a keeper... Thank you Mi-so!" he turned his head towards me to let me see he was tearing up too but he still had a smile plastered on his face.

"I made a silly bet with Hong Joo about you two. When the time comes, go ask her. Also when Jae Chan starts dating make sure he knows how to act like a gentleman. I'm so scared he might become a player. Haha. Anyways. Till next letter. I lost track of how many I wrote. Haha. Your partner in crime. Mi-so."

I felt like crying and I did. But I was smiling as the tears poured out. Jin's other arm wrapped around me until I was engulfed in his embrace.

It felt nice to let go. To know that the hole in my heart wasn't back. It was still full.

She didn't die in vain. She didn't have a happy ending either. But it's not about the ending. Right?

As Jin let me go I wiped away the tears from his face, "stop crying pabo." I spoke through my sniffles.

He smiled back, "look who's talking."

He both laughed only to be interrupted by the boys and Hong Joo. Hong Joo was being snuggled by Yoongi's embrace and Jae Chan had a smile on his face while riding on Taehyung's back. In all the boy's hands were lollipops given by Jae Chan I assumed. They were all different colors.

"Cheer up Bo-Ra..." HoSeok patted my shoulder as he sat down next to me lollipop in mouth, "The only sad one in the room is you."

"I'm not sad. Not anymore," I wiped away the tears.

My eyes scanned the room. They were all here next to me. They stayed and weren't gonna leave. Taehyung let Jae Chan down who proceeded to drag him and Namjoon to play role-play with him. Namjoon pretended to get shot from Jae Chan's iron man blast.

Taehyung yelled quietly getting on the floor, "Noooo! I will avenge you Namjoon! Come here, Jae Chan!"

As Taehyung's arms slowly flung towards him, Jae Chan laughed running and hiding behind Jungkook and Jimin.

"Stop! The force is with us!" Jimin scrunched his eyebrows and stretched his arm out twirling his fingers.

Jungkook punched him in the arm laughing, "Wrong movie idiot."

Everyone was laughing. Even me.

I turned to Jin who was now a few inches away from my face and I brushed the hair from his forehead. He snapped me out of my thoughts.

"Bo-Ra..." he said to me but I was lost in looking at his eyes. "Ya?" I smiled in oblivion.

"I need to tell you something," his brows furrowed slightly and his lips pursed uncomfortably.

"What?"

"So I kinda told Mr. Kim," he darted his eyes to the side holding his breath.

"You what?!"

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I really liked writing this chapter. Kinda healed me too. Thank you for reading! Don't forget to vote and comment!

-xoxo HER the muse