Five

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Eleven Years Old

It's Jack's first year going to camp with my church, but nothing special happens. We win the contest again this year. It's all just like flour. Safe and boring and neutral. I want it to be Jack. He's none of those. He's spontaneous and loud and fun. I never get to be any of those.

But he's going on vacation with his family. They offer to bring me with them, but my parents say no. I think it might be their idea of payback. They don't like that I call Jack's parents my second parents. I guess it hurts their feelings that they kind of suck.

Jack and I are starting sixth grade this year. That means middle school. With a bunch of older kids. That hate me. They have no real reason to. They just do.

At least I won't go to school with Louisa anymore.

And while that's a relief, I only have two classes with Jack. Out of eight, we only got two. And the classes are all over the place. Every forty-five minutes, I have to rush to another place. So basically 90% of my day is going to be panic.

Jack gets back the day before school starts. I spend the night at his house and Mom 2 drives us to school in the morning. It took two weeks of begging for Mom to let this happen. She has a thing about driving us to school on the first day, but I kind of don't want to be around her.

But Jack and I walk in and people immediately swarm to meet him. There are even a bunch of older kids in the mix. How do they even know him?

I'm getting really sick of Jack being the center of attention. He's mine. Not theirs. I refuse to let him... I don't know. I just want him to stay away from other people if it means he could lose interest in me.

At least I'm taller than him now. I kind of shot up over the summer and now I'm 5'2" and Jack hates it because he's only 4'10." But I looked it up and he's still two inches above average height for our age. I'm just higher above average. Because I'm cool.

Jack thinks it's because my mom is really tall.

I'm still cool, though.

Even if I don't have as many friends as Jack does.

That doesn't end up mattering much, though. Because while Jack waves at people as we pass them in the hall, it's me he's walking with. Not them. I think that's pretty alright.

Besides, he's never abandoned me for them. Yet. I read somewhere that childhood friends always grow apart. I don't want that to happen to us. If he moves again, I'm packing myself in a crate and going with him.

Jack is in all the smart kid classes. That's why we only have two classes together. Electives. I'm in the regular classes with the people who think it's a good idea to rub their own feces all over the bathroom walls. It happens fourteen times over the course of the entire school year.

I did teach him how to ice skate. It's a rite of passage in Minnesota. Or so I told him. I really just wanted him to go with me to my figure skating lessons. He really sucks but I love skating with him. He gets frustrated when I go around him in circles but he never outwardly complains about it.

He only complained when I broke my wrist at a competition. He got bored and went to the little arcade place next door and my mom had to go get him and bring him to the hospital in a taxi. My dad drove me in the car because I could see my own bone and it was freaking me out too much to wait for an ambulance.

Despite everything I've just complained about, nothing really changes between me and Jack. He never abandoned me once. Which is why I'm so glad that Jack is my best friend and not someone else's. Anyone else definitely would've left me to be popular. Jack manages to be both and he somehow got me somewhat popular. Well, at least well-known enough that everybody leaves me alone. No one from my old school would even look at me. I think that might've been the bullying itself, but I'd like to think it's because Jack made it his mission to protect me.

I don't talk to anyone anyway unless I have to. And group projects don't happen very often, so really I just talk to Jack.

I think maybe I should make more friends. My whole world shouldn't revolve around Jack. That's just setting me up to get hurt.

But maybe I like setting myself up. For now, anyway. 

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