Ten

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sixteen years old

After the argument, Jack and I don't speak for a full three hours. That's not much objectively, but it feels like years. I don't really know how to function without him, so Hunter finds me sitting on my bed, staring blankly at the wall.

He drags Jack in and lectures us on how arguments are bad and friendships are more important and he sends us to the obstacle course to work it out.

We trudge up there in silence. I can practically feel the anger radiating off of him, but I'm not mad anymore. If anything, I'm sad. We've never fought like that. We've hardly fought at all.

I can't stand the silence anymore.

"You're on the soccer team," I say.

Jack looks over, confused. "Yeah?"

"Aren't sports guys supposed to be really tall?"

Now he looks offended. I've messed it up again.

"You're on the chess team," he replies.

"Um... yeah."

"You look like it."

"Is that an insult?"

Jack smiles and shoves his hands into the pockets of his basketball shorts, nodding.

We're okay then. Thank God.

We go to the obstacle course anyway. Hunter is standing at the bottom of the hill, staring at us. He'd get angry if we turned around and came back, even though he knows that's the kind of friends we are. We rarely disagree but we get over it quickly.

For me, I think it's mostly the whole "I think I'm in love with you, but I can't tell you about it because I don't know if you feel the same way and my parents would kick me out if they knew about about any of it, but I so desperately want you to feel the same way but I have a girlfriend and I'm trying nd increasingly failing to convince myself I'm straight" thing.

I don't know about him.

A cabin has obviously gone through and left all of the equipment out, so Jack and I go through and pick it up instead of completing the team-building activites.

When the cabin finishes the course and comes back to clean up, we tell them we'll take care of it. Their counselor is Grace. She and Jack had some sort of flirty thing going on last year, so I kind of hate her, but she's really nice.

She tells us that she'll recommend us for camper of the week if we keep this up. We won't, and she knows that, but the idea of getting camper of the week makes the kids light up. Her entire cabin is comprised of kids who are twelve and thirteen. To them, camper of the week is the highest honor. I wish they had that when Jack and I got to teen camp.

Jack and I talk about sciency stuff while we put the equipment up. His eyes light up when he gets to talk about decomposition. I love the way he waves his hands enthusiastically and talks about insects eating flesh. I mean, the topic disgusts me, but he loves it. It's things like this that are going to get him into Yale, his dream school. I've never even had a dream school.

At the end of the obstacle course is a sign that reads IF YOU'RE HERE TO END AN ARGUEMENT, YOU MUST HUG IT OUT!!!

It's a little hard to take seriously because they misspelled argument, but we do it anyway.

Jack dramatically throws his hands up like he's in a Broadway dance number and I follow his lead. We hug it out and my heart is beating so hard that he must be able to hear it. I can feel it against my ribs. I feel myself tighten my grip and I let go in a panic.

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