• ° Fourteen ° •

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NYLA

The repeated beeping of the hosptial monitors incessantly going off woke me from my hazy sleep, if you could even call it that.
Flashs and echos of menories burnt into my brain by force. Hearing the echos of my own screams rattled through my skull while so heavily drugged to the point of being incoherent, I felt like a passenger in my own body. Being driven around by strangers.
Doctors came and went, taking scans all over. The constant noise became unbareable, nurses poked and prodded checking me over multiple times a day.
I just wanted silence.

Quiet.

Silence and darkness.
I didnt care about anything else.

Peace.

Death would give me that.

The doctors spoke across me to Bear and Rosie as they stayed close by. I could feel the rage radiating off him as he paced over and over. The pace of his stomping alerting me to the stress he was feeling.

It was my fault. I was never anything but trouble.

For days I could feel him pacing.
Over and over. Down the halls and through the room. Like a caged tiger locked away in captivity. Snapping at anything that came near.

Its my fault.

...I'm at fault.

If i had just been better.

Been a little more....more.

"We've lowered the sedative, just to test the waters to see how is she coping. Prolonged sedation for her mental health will do more harm than good as she needs to start processing everything. Nyla will be more awake now and alert and we can wean her off the pain relief slowly as she starts physical therapy-"

"How long will that take?" Bear snapped cutting off the doctor, of course I was already a burden and my stomach plummeted. No surprise but it still hurt.

"Rehabilitation will be a long process, I would say a few months at the bare minimum"

"Months?" He sighed, seemingly frustrated by the process, "Cant you discharge her already so we can go? I'll pay whoever to get this shit rolling " Bear snarled. Rosie jumped into action herding the doctor away and whispering quietly to him.

My stomach churned with guilt as hot tears pricked the back of my eyes.

Of course he wanted to leave.

I was a disgrace.
The club was important and he couldnt afford for me to be drawing attention away and making the MC look weak.
Because thats what this was, I was damaged now.

Confined to my hosptial bed now awake, blurry and fuzzy vision as I tried to peel my eyelids open
The roof was that weird rectangular panels side by side with the tiny swiss cheese like holes with large fluorescent lights spaced between, filling the room with the bright sterile yet cold clinical light. Perfectly fitting together side by side in a uniform pattern, only to be broken up by a stray panel with a ugly brown water stain on it where once upon a time water had leaked into. All of the panels fitting together except this lone panel off to the side. Unlike the rest with a imperfection, aged with time, damaged and slightly warped. Not to disimilar to me.

Not like the others... damaged and discolored.

Wanting to be like the others, and even if you painted that one panel underneath, hiding the damaged and making it look like the rest, it was not the same. It would always be damaged, it would always weaken the others.
The first to let go the first to break.

"Nyla?" Dad said softly while I stiffened, he realized i was awake. I didn't to look at him, couldn't handle the shame that would be written on his face. My mouth thinned into a small line as I sucked in a deep breath twinging at the wrapping of my ribs.
As my eyes slowly came down to meet his i sucked in a sharp breath. My stomach pummeted and shame began creeping up my spine.
Deep hollows of his eyes told me he hadnt been sleeping, while the crumpled clothes under his cut made it even clearer he hadnt been sleeping or showering.
His grey eyes reflecting my own.
No rage.
No angry.
No malice.

Something I had seen before.

But never directed at me.

Always at others. a shameful, sad thing.

I look that had my heart ache even more.

Sadness covered in a thick layer of pity.

Just....pity.

The empty, hollow, pity stare.

My heart lurched, acid filled my throat and I swallowed the urge to vomit. Shame and disgust as he looked at me so sadly.

I mean the sight was pitiful.
It was. Noone could deny that.

Slowly recoiling as if he had slapped me I turned away.
A quiet whimper cracked out and pain radiated across mu body as I forced it to curl in on itself as best as possible the alarms of the monitors began firing off and a nurse ran in.
She spoke to me but I was drowning in emotion as tears clogged my throat and streamed down my face. But when her gloved hand came into contact with my skin as she tried to assist me back I recoiled harshly, a feral sound escaped as if she had burnt me. The sensation of touch setting the alarms for my heart rate off.

"Miss Nyla, I need you to roll back over. Your lines are kinked" the nurse insisted as she reached to touch me again. As if in slow motion my body screamed in pain as she came into contact with me.
I flailed carelessly trying to get her hand off of my forearm a pained groan slipping out of me as she called for the doctor who was still speaking to Rosie.

"She needs to be sedated again. She's becoming combative"

The nurse and doctor spoke quickly as they rushed to administrator more medicine.

"Sharp scratch, Nyla" My muscles immediately grew heavy and limb, the beeping slowed to a more steady rate and the doctor released a exhale of air.

"Sleep Nyla" Rosie cooed, I felt her warm hand stroke the hair off of my face and tuck it ever so gently behind my ear.

"I'm here okay, rest" as everything grew darker and numb, my eyes locked onto her rich brown eyes and saw something new.

Understanding. Not pity, not shame.

She understood.

Why would Rosie understand? That doesnt make any sense.

But before long the haze clouded over me and taken me to a fitful rest, taking me back to the nightmare that haunt me.

~~~~~~~

Sorry for the big delay guys so much has been happening lately.

I turned 26 last week woo hoo

Not a super long update but better than nothing.

Do you think Nyla knows why Rosie doesnt pity her?

Dont forget to like, comment and let me know your thoughts





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