What's Wrong With Me | TYDE/CREEK | South Park Fanfiction ✔️

Chapter Six

The day had gone by slow and boring, just as usual. Tweek and Craig were both able to get away with being late and the rest of the boys' classes went fine. Now the school day was done and the five of them were on their way to Craig's house.

"Stop laughing, I'm genuinely confused!" Clyde protested to his friends.

Token was nearly in tears from how hard he was laughing, but he tried to pull it together to keep from hurting Clyde's feelings. "I'm sorry, can you repeat the question?"

"What the actual fuck is oatmeal? Like, it's this bland, squishy substance that you put honey and raisins on and it tastes like shit. What is it?"

"I can't tell if you're being serious, and I'm kinda concerned," Craig said. Clyde stared at him, dead in the eyes, with a look that definitely meant he was serious. "Clyde, that's like asking what applesauce is." Clyde gave him a blank stare.

Token and Craig burst out laughing, not able to reserve it any longer.

"You don't know what applesauce is?!" Tweek exclaimed.

Clyde put up his hands defensively. "Hey, we're talking about oatmeal and oatmeal only. We'll get on the topic of applesauce later."

"I c-can't with you, Clyde. You're so f-fuh-f-fucking dumb it's unbelievable," Jimmy sighed.

Token shot him a look. "Be nice, Jimmy. He isn't d- well, okay, he isn't that dumb. But still, just because he doesn't know something doesn't make him any more or less stupid, alright?"

"Clyde," Tweek began, trying hard as he could not to laugh. "Oatmeal... oatmeal is like... Hm, actually, what is oatmeal? Craig?"

Craig laughed even harder. "Oatmeal is literally just cooked, ground-up oats, dude. That's like, all it is. I like to add cinnamon when I make it, but other than that, that's literally all oatmeal is. Put 'em in a pot of water, put it on the stove, boil 'em till they're kinda mushy and all the water is gone and voila, you've got yourself some oatmeal."

"Thank you for the cooking lesson, Craig," Tweek giggled. "Now, Clyde, applesauce is apples mushed up into... well, into a sauce-like substance. That's all it is. Are you less confused now?"

Clyde nodded and folded his arms. "Yes, but I don't understand why you guys had to laugh so hard. It wasn't that funny."

"Y-y-yeah it was," Jimmy chuckled.

"Okay, that's enough you two," Token stepped in. "We're almost to Craig's. There's no use in arguing over something unimportant. Someone's gonna end up saying the wrong thing and hurting the other's feelings, so we need to stop now."

"'K mom," Jimmy said.

"Sorry, mom," Clyde said. 

Token chuckled and rolled his eyes at the two. He always got a kick out of the boys calling him "mom"; being the mom friend was fun.

The five walked up to Craig's house's front steps and into the house. They made a beeline for Craig's room, waving to his mom and sister on their way up the stairs. Clyde blew Stripe a kiss before sitting down on Craig's bed.

Craig gave him a look. "Quit flirting with my guinea pig," He said to Clyde.

"I wasn't flirting with him, I was greeting him!" Clyde protested.

Craig rolled his eyes. "God, Clyde, it was a joke. No need to get so defensive about it, you oversensitive baby."

Clyde visibly pouted at Craig's description of him. Craig caught sight of Clyde's dolefulness and flipped him the finger with a smirk.