The Other Side

Part 2

Nate and I talked and talked for the most part of the night and I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I was so grateful that he listened, despite all my whining and complaining. He was so graceful in his words, it felt like he was an old soul trapped in a young body, I loved it.

" Hey, I don't know what to tell you about the whole karate thing;"

" its just boxing and a few karate skills", I managed.

"Same thing to me," he chuckled" yeah so, I don't know what to tell you about all that, nor the bad girl façade, neither the drama with your parents, because like I said I have one of my own, but what I can say is don't let it get to you. As long as you feel your course is just, there is nothing wrong with that. Don't wait for someone to make you happy, grab it by your own firm hands, and never let it slip away. Do you know what I usually do when I'm so hurt I can hardly breathe? " he softly asked.

" I don't know, draw, paint? I usually see you with that drawing book of yours." I said somehow admitting to paying attention to such little details.

" More or less. I draw. And paint sometimes. I'm glad you noticed." I blushed. I could almost hear the smirk through the phone.

"What do you usually do get your head to level up?" He curiously asked.

"I fight. But unfortunately today it wasn't that helpful because I had already kicked some ass before the mom thing happened."

" So now you have a busted lip and a black eye to say the least, you must really be looking beautiful this moment. " I noted his sarcasm with a smirk of my own.

"Why, thanks mister." I replied equally sarcastic.

" Are you wearing an eye patch to school on Monday? That'd be really cool." He was now laughing, the sound so beautiful and endearing.

"Yap," I said popping the p. Of course I was merely kidding. " But there is one more thing I need to ask of you," I begged with desperation in my shaky voice.

"What is it? You should know by now I'm willing to help you however I can."

" No one can know about this, absolutely no one. Or I'm going to ..I don't know.. shave your balls or something. He gasped on the other end obviously surprised by my choice of words.

" You have my word." he promised.

"And Nate, not just the secrets, even the fact that you and I talked on the phone at the middle of the night. What do you think people will think when they hear that? Its not going to be good...for the both of us. Besides, I can't risk my reputation." I managed heart hammering in my chest.

"Are you ashamed to be with me, even as merely as friends? I should have known better though. This is how it has always been." I could hear the hurt in his voice. I can't believe I just did that to him. He listened when no one else was willing to, gave me the comfort I so badly ached for, and this how I repay him?

Way to ruin the moment Ryn.

Deep inside I knew it was either that, or bring my walls down. Everything I built over the years, lay myself bare again, and I don't think I was ready for that. I couldn't do it, I couldn't put myself out there again, I would never bear it. It was better this way, to just watch from afar. That way we are both safe, I don't hurt him he doesn't hurt me.

Except I suspected I already did.
I hurt him even without meaning it.

"Nate I ...." I was lost for words. "I'm not going to justify myself, this ... whatever is going on between us. I know there is something, even if its just friendship. It can't go on anymore, I know I'm an unappreciative bitch, I'll give you that, but I don't want you getting hurt because trust me when you're with me its bound to happen. Truth be told, I care about you, more than I can admit to myself, but you, in harm's way, because of me...that's just too much. You can hate me if you wish but, I'm doing both of us a huge favor."

" So what now? I'm just your call buddy by night and by day a  total stranger? Isn't it my choice as well if I'm willing to take the chance, even if it means getting hurt? I'm not going to ask a lot from you, just to be your friend. How stupid could I get, this is reality. You're so stupid Nate." I could tell he was angry by now. Damn, I would be too.

" You don't get it, I've been hurt before. I wasn't planning on telling you this but now its already out there. Its all I know Nate, being hurt. And I'll be doomed to ever take the risk again." I chocked on my already streaming tears. So much tears for a single night.

"You're giving us up because you think I will hurt you too? I knew it, I knew there was a reason for that bad girl façade. Look Ryn, I'm willing to take the little that you can offer, friends, mere acquaintances, whatever your terms are, just don't take it all away, please. You a different person, the different I would like to associate with. Please, I just want to be your friend." he begged.

But my mind was already made up. Long ago. In another world, I wouldn't have minded being his friend or even more but like he said, this is reality.

"There is no us," that hurt to say. It had to be done anyway.

"I never thought I would beg for something this much in my life. You know what you're right, I don't get it. I never have, but maybe you're right, maybe this whole thing wasn't meant to be. And as much as I don't want to give it up, there's only so much a person can take. I think I've reached my limit." With that the phone went dead.

Probably the last conversation we're ever going to have. That's it, the little something we had, all gone. All of it, washed away in just a few minutes.

Just because of my stupid insecurities.

"This is it Ryn, you prepared it, its only fair that you sleep in it."

After that I didn't sleep a wink. Even if I wanted to. Sleep totally deserted me.

Dawn broke with me in pieces. Pieces I created by my own hands. I didn't think it was going to hurt this much.

Now I have to face the music.

Yay life.

Vote. Comment.

Edited. Enjoy!