A Fictional Taekook Biography

Chapter 7: Brooding

Jungkook was brooding.

He sat on the edge of his bed, hands clasped and eyes cast downward. He was a lonely figure: A fourteen year old boy in a small, dark room, radiating distress and regret.

Jungkook was shy. Scratch that, he was more than just shy. He was timid, lacked confidence, and feared the judgment of others. He knew he was smart and talented. But what if he wasn't talented enough? What if they didn't see all his hard work and just criticized his flaws? What if they decided he was worthless and dislikable? Better to be known as shy than known as show off.

It got to the point where a staff member had asked him why he ever planned to be a performer when he was clearly not cut out for it.

It wasn't like Jungkook didn't make an effort. He tried to be social and have self confidence, but it wasn't that easy. Every time he opened his mouth the doubt would come pouring back in and instinct would prevent him from doing anything. And he had reason to be insecure when his whole life was centered on being better. His love of singing and dancing had driven him into a field where he would never be enough. And now, when he finally had his chance to pursue his chosen career, he was just too shy to come out of his shell.

So when Taehyung came into all this doubt and insecurity and made an effort to be his friend, Jungkook felt like he'd been offered a lifeline. He had allowed himself to hope.

And then Jimin joined the group. He and Taehyung were instantly great friends. They shared common interests, were both the same age, and had transferred to the same school. Soon they were spending their free time together and Jungkook was back to being an acquaintance.

And it hurt. A lot. But if Taehyung didn't want to be friends, then what could Jungkook do? It wasn't like he even had a right to be jealous of Jimin. Jungkook wasn't friends with Taehyung, and now the opportunity was gone.

Jungkook lowered his head into his hands.

It's ok, he told himself. It's all going to be ok. You're going to get over this, and you're going to be a great singer, and everything's going to be fine.

He bit his lip to prevent his tears from spilling over. He was not going to cry over this. He was not going to cry over a friend he never had.

A knock sounded on the door.

"Jungkook? You ok?" Namjoon's voice floated through the cracks between the door and the wall.

"I'm fine." Jungkook said, hoping that Namjoon would go away. He checked to see if the door was locked. It was. He'd been careful to lock it when he came in. He felt safer that way.

"Are you sure? You've been in there for a few hours, but I haven't heard any music or noise."

Jungkook winced slightly. Of course Namjoon would notice the unusual silence. "Just resting. I'm fine, sunbae."

Jungkook heard a sigh through the door. There was a moment of silence, and Jungkook wondered if Namjoon had given up and gone away. He tried to convince himself that was a good thing, but he wasn't sure if it was what he wanted. Just as he'd accepted that he was alone again, Namjoon began to speak.

"You know, I can't really do anything if you don't tell me what's wrong."

Silence. Namjoon tried again.

"Jungkook, talk to me. I'll listen to whatever you have to say. Let me help? Please?"

Jungkook wrestled with this for a moment, staring at the door. He could stand up. He could walk over to the door and unlock it. He could let Namjoon come in.