Unseen Letters To Lux

6

Dear Lux,

I was so excited to see you.

But I guess you didn't feel the same...

You barely gave me a second glance. I know I was gone for a long time, but I can't seem to understand how you forgot. How you forgot each kiss, each fight, each walk, and each talk. Maybe you didn't forget me, but you just didn't want me. When I walked to you after the debate you walked right past me. I tried to get your attention, but you ignored me. Even Padame was confused.

What hurt the most was seeing you, with her.

The beautiful blond-haired human girl, that I knew I couldn't compare. The ocean-eyed girl, who looked at you with love. The girl you held hands with, at the debate, and played with her hair.

In every way, I would never compare.

I know I wanted you to be happy, but I wish you would talk to me. Instead of taking a walk with me, you did with her. Instead of talking to me, you kissed her. While you looked right at me.

You had this look in your eye, but I didn't know what it meant. Your eyes that I would feel safe in, I felt abandoned by them. It was stupid for me to think that you would bring me hope.

You did to others in the debate of course. You've gained more respect, but I needed you so much. Everything is so confusing right now, and I thought I could depend on you, at least as a friend.

But instead, I see you in the courtyard, where we used to talk, kissing her. Right where you kissed me...

This is so stupid! I'm a Jedi! I knew better than to catch feelings for you. I would say that all senators are the same, but I can't stay mad at you. I know you're different. I know it's not your fault you didn't know how I felt. I was at least hoping I could rely on you as a friend.

Now I feel lonely as ever. It feels so suffocating I could die.

I always see you with her, and I wish it was me.

You won't even talk to me.

I need you Lux Bonteri.

But you don't need me.

And that's fine...

I just want you to be happy.

Ahsoka