Cerulean Sea

Hold Me Close

When Yoongi awoke, he could feel the harsh gaze of the sun beating down on him. Squinting, he looked over and saw Jimin next to him, still asleep. He paused for a minute to take Jimin in. His face was relaxed, making him look softer. Yoongi had a weird urge to squeeze Jimin's cheeks. He watched as Jimin's face twitched as he awoke, his eyes opening slowly and attention turning to Yoongi.

"Did we stay out here all night?" he asked, sleepily.

"It would seem so" Yoongi groaned, stretching. Jimin rubbed his eyes with his knuckles, reminding Yoongi of a child.

"I hope your crew won't be too worried," Jimin said.

"Nah, they'll be fine. Probably didn't even notice with the way they were drinking," Yoongi grinned.

"I'm glad I got to share my love of the stars with you, maybe when you're out there sailing you'll remember the ones I taught you. There must be so many out there, so many that I haven't even seen"

"What's the point of gazing at the stars if you're not there to watch them with me?" Yoongi asked. Jimin froze before slowly turning to Yoongi, a blush creeping up from his neck. He swallowed.

"Don't be silly, you don't need me there"

"Really, I beg to differ, who will tell me all their secrets and the stories they hide?"

"You don't need me for that, you have books you can read or you could ask Namjoon, I'm sure he knows a thing or two"

"What if I want it to be you?" Yoongi whispered. They stared at each other for a moment before Jimin pulled away.

"I can't" he said, rising to his feet. Yoongi grabbed his hand.

"Why not?" he asked. "I know you feel this too, why aren't you letting yourself have this?"

"I can't give you what you want," Jimin argued, pulling his hand back.

"How do you know that, you don't know what I want"

"I don't deserve you or this"

"You! The person who helps people who come to this island without asking for anything, the person who's saving my life! If it was anyone who doesn't deserve it, it's me"

"You don't understand, I've done things that are unforgivable. I'm a bad person," Yoongi snorted in disbelief.

"You a bad person. In the time I've known you, I've never met anyone kinder. If you're a bad person, then god knows what I am," Jimin shook his head.

"I killed someone Yoongi, someone is dead because of me"

"Really! The first time I killed someone I was ten, I watched the light fade from their eyes but I still did it again three years later. I kill to survive, I guess you could say it comes with the job. I've lost count of how many lives I've taken. What kind of man does that make me? If you think you're a bad person, that makes me a monster!" there was silence in the clearing other than Yoongi's sharp breaths. Jimin was silent for a moment before placing his hand over Yoongi's heart.

"You're a good person" Yoongi gave a bitter laugh, moving away. "Hey, I wasn't finished. Theres a little trick most witches can do that allows us to tell if a person is good or bad. So yes, you've done some bad things, but in here I know you're a good person. You've shown that with your brother and how far you'd go to save you. Your crew love and respect you because they can see the person you are"

"But that doesn't mean I haven't hurt people. Whats the difference between the people you've killed and the one you did?"

"Because I killed this person in cold blood. I wasn't trying to save anyone or do it for the greater good, hell I wasn't even trying to save myself. I just l let this person die. I could have easily saved them, but I didn't. I just walked away. Thats why im a monster," Jimin revealed. Yoongi couldn't move. The look in Jimin's eyes broke his heart. How could this beautiful creature before him view himself as a monster?

"That may be how you see yourself, but that's not what I see. A monster doesn't feel remorse for what they've done. They don't spend the rest of their life trying to make up for it by helping anyone who comes to this island. Because that's what you've been doing, haven't you? Thats the reason you've been helping people to make up for what you did," it wasn't a question. Jimin shrugged.

"What does it matter? So what if that's the reason I've been helping people, doesn't that just make it worse? Instead of helping people because it's the right thing to do I'm helping them to make myself feel better"

"I don't believe that. If you were only doing it to make yourself feel better, you wouldn't try so hard. You wouldn't try to connect to my crew and be their friends if it truly meant so little to you," Yoongi said, taking Jimin's hand in his. He was relieved when Jimin didn't pull away this time. "You need to forgive yourself, that's what holding you back," Jimin shook his head, his eyes clenched shut.

"I can't," he whispered. Yoongi brought his hand to Jimin's face, gently stroked his cheek.

"Maybe you can't now, but someday you will and I'll be there with you every step of the way"

"You promise" Jimin murmured, his lips ghosting Yoongi's.

"I do" Yoongi smiled. Closing the gap between them and capturing Jimin's lips with his.