𝐋𝐢𝐩𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐚𝐧 𝐀𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐥 [ 𝐀𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫. ]

𝐂𝐚𝐥𝐦 𝐁𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐦

Crack Chapter

*Anthony first day in hell be like...

Avis & Avix: Is your refrigerator running?

Angel Dust: Yes of course, why?

Avis & Avix: YOU'RE GAY!

Angel Dust: *Loud exaggerated crying on the sofa*

•❦•❦•❦•

Lucifer: You're my wife right?

Lilith: Yes.

Lucifer: You know what I'm doing is for my family right?

Lilith: Yes.

Lucifer: You know that making Alastor kill (Name) is for hell's sake and mine right?

Lilith: Yes.

Lucifer: Then good! So you agreed with my plan!

Lilith: Debunk your plan if that's possible.

Lucifer: I sometimes wonder how you became my wife.

Lilith: It's because I'm hot, and truthfully the first ever female you made contact with.

Lucifer: ಠ︵ಠ

His siblings: ಠ∀ಠ

•❦•❦•❦•

Charlie:*About to sing hee famous song* Inside of every demon is-

Uncle Renzo(Greed): Greed for fame! Money! And Power!

Uncle Kevin(Wrath): Anger and Wraith.

Uncle Miller(Lust): BDSM and High rate sex tolerance~

Uncle Jiro(Envy): Jealousy and Envious intent.

Uncle Avix(Gluttony): Are Charlie, Demons are always hungry.

Aunt Avis(Sloth): Bitch no! All of them demons are lazy as fuck. ARAW ARAW SUNDAY BITCH.

Lucifer: I do not approve of this kind of family. Erase them from the map.

Charlie: ಠಗಠ

•❦•❦•❦•

*Reader got reincarnated*

(Name): Well shit. Would you look at that! I'm in the year 2020! It's not so bad-

*Distant screaming in the background.*

:: WHERE ARE THE TOILET PAPERS?!

:: WASH YOUR HANDS BEFORE YOU TOUCH MY DING DONG THOT!

:: WE'RE HAVING ANOTHER PLAGUE!!

:: MY NAME IS JEFF-

:: WHY ARE THE PASTA SHELVES EMPTY?! WHAT IS HAPPENING?!

*Sirens in the background*

(Name): *Inhales* This is normal...(. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)

•❦•❦•❦•

Greg in the heaven: *Having a conversation with God* So what you're saying is, (Name) is going to be reincarnated in the next 90 years?

*God nodded.

Greg: Well, 90 years seems to be in a long time-

*(Name) popped out in the year 2020.

Greg: oh, would you look at that. Wait...is she...Is she 16?!

*God nodded once again.

Greg: Who is that man with a red hair and red suit. Wait, he looks like in his mid 30s! WAIT! THATS ILLEGAL-