Beta not Omega

Pills Pills Pills

I spent the next 48 hours entirely with Pidge, minus loo breaks. We snuggled together in my nest me holding her close, trying to sooth her when the waves of pain hit. I talked about the times of when I looked after my little siblings, it was one of the only joys I had when I lived back at 'home'. The distraction of telling stories and my constant chatter seemed to help Pidge get through her presentation, she was clingy and demanding the entire time, god help us all now that she is a fully fledged Alpha.

Pidge stirred from her sleeping pile in the middle of my nest rubbing her eyes harshly as full reality started to dawn on her. "How long have I been in here?"

"It's been about 2 days since your presentation started, how're feeling?"

"A lot better that than when this first started but I feel like every smell has been intensified! I can smell every little thing in here!" She slightly covered her nose not use to the magnified scents with her new senses. I smile and bring her in for another hug "you'll get use to it soon but you'll have to start learning how to fight against certain urges, keep your mind rational and mind your temper even more than before." I pulled her away and gave a look of concern but also trust that she'll be a great alpha.

"Thank you Lance, for everything I mean it. But now that I've presented and my mind is clear, why didn't you tell anyone you where an Omega?"

I felt my breath hitch and get stuck in my throat, how could I have been so stupid and forgot that she was going to ask me this, I had been engulfed in trying to help her I didn't even think how I was going to explain myself. What was I going to say? Should I explain everything? But she's still so young she doesn't need anymore burden put onto her, but should I lie?

"Lance, are you ok?" Pidges concerned voice broke through my train of thought. "Yeah sorry, got kinda stuck in my head there. I kept being an Omega secret for good reason but none you need concern yourself with ok?" Looking down and away from her inquisitive eyes. "But Lance! I want to know so I can help, let me be there for you like you have just been for me, please." She quickly responded, I could hear in her voice how much she wanted to help. "If you really want to help me Pidge I need you to find a way to get me some suppressant pills."

"No."

"What? Why not!? You just said you wanted to help, please Pidge the others can't know!"

Pleading her for help, it was a miracle that she didn't reject me outright after learning the truth, a one off, I couldn't risk it again. Lighting doesn't strike twice in the same place. Pidge already had her argument figured out, eyes turning to one of determination.

"How long have you been on suppressant Lance?"

"Over 3 years, since I first presented its all I've known, I need them to be normal." Her eyes grew wide to my response but I couldn't understand why. "I just want to go back to being a Beta, to being useful, well kinda anyway. I am not going to going to risk another family, I can't ok. I need your help I'm begging you."

Pidge just sat there staring into my eyes I could see frustration and annoyance forming across her face, she stood almost in rage and started yelling "Lance are you stupid!? Do you have any idea what the suppressants are probably doing to your body, if not already?! Have you ever even had a heat?! Why would you risk your life using them for that long constantly?! I am not helping you find anymore!"

Through she didn't realise it she had released dominating pheromones into the air, she didn't want Lance to argue against her on this point, the pills where most likely going to kill him eventually. Lance started to curl into himself, he hadn't had any pills in almost 3 full days and now that a pup was no longer in distress from their presentation his Omega instincts, feelings, smell, pheromones all started to leak through. He was just yelled out and called stupid by an Alpha and was refused their help.

"Yes Alpha, I understand. I'm sorry." His neck exposed showing his submission, eyes down. His first real moment as an Omega since his presentation all those years ago and he was already being yelled out, he tried to tell his mind that Pidge didn't mean it like that and she was trying to help him, but with her dominating pheromones suggesting otherwise and Lances Omega instincts he couldn't help but hate himself for failing, again.

Pidge stood there shocked, the person she saw as a big brother just called her Alpha and was on the ground in a very submissive position. "Lance, I'm so sorry I don't know why I started yelling at you, I've just go so many emotions right now and I don't know how to control them." Eyes filled with sorrow from her own actions. Lance didn't want Pidge to be anymore upset than she already was, he took a deep breath and pushed himself up.

"It's ok Pidge, really it is, best thing you can do is go back to your room, take a shower put on some clean clothes and get some sleep, and when you wake up we'll talk to the rest of the team ok?" He tried to sound as confident as possible hoping she'll take his advice. "Fine, when I wake up I'm coming straight here to get you first, then we're talking to the team." She smiled gently back up at me, "I'll be waiting little Pidgeon." We hugged each other tightly and just as Pidge was leaving she turned back to me. "Also Lance, I never knew you wore glasses, they suit you."

Shit.

So many punishments were needed, I'm not even sure if it's because I'm use to punishing myself for making mistakes but that is only for when I'm not being a good Beta. Now that Pidge knows I'm an Omega why do I still the need to punish myself, has this always been an Omega instinct that had managed to root it's way to the surface. No matter what I am, I can't stop the feeling the same, a useless, ugly, uneeded nobody that no one ever asked for.

It feels wrong to even think it but did Pidge just use me to help her through presentation, but she would never do that, what if she's going to tell everyone that I'm an Omega. Anxiety and paranoia plagued my every thought for hours so much so that I didn't realise I had fallen asleep until the reoccurring nightmares started.

———————————————————————————————————

Hi all, its been a few weeks *cough* month *cough* sorry for the wait. Long chapter(for me) hope you like it. =]

Kiki x