𝐂𝐔𝐑𝐋𝐘 𝐇𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐄𝐃 𝐊𝐈𝐃𝐒. matthew gray gubler

↳ xii. lets not talk about sex

xii. let's not talk about sex
—MATTHEW GRAY GUBLER

[🪐]

     LOLA AND I SAT ON THE COUCH
after our cookies finished, watching The Office, because what else are you supposed to watch when you're high?

Her head was leaned on me, my arm wrapped around her shoulders and bringing her closer to me. My heart raced so fast whenever she was close like this; when we were dancing in the kitchen earlier, I felt like I was going to pass out and have a heart attack. And yet, it was all so relaxing and nice; Lola was just so easy-going and...cool. I didn't know what other words could describe her.

I still didn't know what all of this meant. We were getting so close, and I was already sure that my feelings for her weren't platonic—I just didn't know about her. Lola never seemed nervous around me, which hinted that she only saw me as a friend. And that was a problem.

All I wanted to do was impress her. Make her blush for once, instead of the other way around. But Lola Novak was just...so perfect in comparison to me, and usually I was the confident one in a relationship—but this was a completely different story. I got so nervous around her it was quite pathetic, to be honest.

I let out a small sigh, noticing her continuously look at the window next to us. She'd been doing that all night—discreetly looking outside or moving us away from the outside view. I had a feeling I knew why she was doing that and that she probably wasn't aware of it, but I didn't know how to talk to her about it.

I mean, if Lola ever wanted anything more, she couldn't just hide us from the world.

But again, I just didn't know how to bring it up, or whether or not this was the right time. I hoped she was okay, and wasn't being paranoid of stalkers or anything—because then that would be an issue. Stalkers were a whole different story than just wanting to hide a relationship.

I leaned my head against hers, running the hand on her shoulders up and down slowly. Lola glanced up at me, her green eyes large but still red and dazed-looking. She wore a soft smile on her face, and I grinned, feeling completely drunk with adoration for the girl as I leaned in, nuzzling against her temple for a second before pulling away.

"You're so cute." I muttered to her.

"You make me feel so good about myself." Lola sighed dramatically, "and I don't know if that's a good thing."

"Why not?"

"Well, first of all, I'm already forgetting that I'm not the only the woman in the world that exists." She said, rolling her eyes.

"Maybe you are." I shot back, smirking.

"Stop itttt," she said in a complaining tone. "It's unfair. I want to compliment you but I get all awkward."

"What does that mean?" I asked.

"I don't know." Lola said, furrowing my eyebrows. "Handsome."

"Okay, don't say it if you don't mean it." I said, pushing her face slightly.

"You are!" Lola protested, "you're so attractive I think it's so unfair. I don't get why you're single."