What The Fork?

Chapter 2

*6/7/20 I did some minor grammatical corrections.*

Roz woke slowly. *Gaahh that is such a gross smell. And why on Earth is there someone in my bed?* Roz cracked an eye open and peeked around the room. *WHAT THE FORK???* She started to silently freak the fuck out. *Not good. Not good. Not good at all. Wait, seriously who the fuck is in bed with me??* Roz was done being silent. Now was the time for ear splitting screams. Roz also lashed out at the stranger elbowing him in the stomach and kicking him a few times in the shins and for good measure she also kicked him twice in the balls.

Tommy sleepily stumbled out of his bed. "Roz?! Roz are you ok?!" Tommy saw Vince on the floor groaning and clutching his crotch. "Vinnie, dude, did you seriously get into bed with Roz after getting home? Are you ok Roz? Did he hurt you or anything?"

"Seriously T-bone? I'm over here in major pain and you think I did something to her?"

Listening to Tommy and Vince, Roz became more alert and remembered where she was. "Mornin' Tommy. Hey Vince, if I catch you cuddling me in my sleep again without my permission, I WILL hurt you. I will shove my wand up your nose and scramble your brain."

Nikki stood in the doorway laughing, "Well Vince, I think this is the first time I've even seen you kicked out of bed by a chick. I thought you'd have freaked out a little less Roz. You know being the time traveling witch that you are."

Roz stood up and glared at him, "Shut up Nikki! You had me go into his bed and didn't warn him I was there to... what? Mess with me?! Were you hoping that he'd do something to me in my sleep?"

Nikki rolled his eyes, "I knew he wouldn't, and it was a fucking joke."

"Not a very good one if you ask me," said Roz crossing her arms. "Ugh whatever."

Vince looked between Roz and Nikki. "Is anyone gonna fill me in on future babe?"

"Watch it buddy. I've got my eye on you," Roz stuck her tongue out at Vince. "Shouldn't we wait for Mick in case he thought of anything else he wants to know? The less I gotta repeat myself the better."

Tommy looked at the alarm clock, "Well it's almost 11:30 so he should be here soon for practice. What do you want to do until then?"

*I wonder why I'm even here. What do I want to do anyways? I can't always just sit here on my ass with the guys. It's too bad that to get a job or anything I would need a fake ID or something. I know, I could be their babysitter and maid.* Roz snickered to herself at the thought.

"Earth to Roz....1981 to Roz are you there?" Tommy said poking her on her right shoulder right where she had a giant bruise.

Roz tried to keep from wincing. "Um sorry I guess I spaced out there. I guess we should come up with some sleeping arrangements because I don't want to wake up to unexpected people in the same bed as me. No offence Vince. Also, I'm sorry for kicking your ass outta bed. So, who wants to share a bed with a witch?"

The guys looked between each other. Just as Vince was about to try saying something Nikki elbowed him. "Unless we can get another mattress, you should get your own bed. These two goons can either share or fight each other for who gets the couch."

"Nik seriously? Fine I'll just try to be at my girlfriend's more often. I don't want to risk my brain getting scrambled." Vince shrugged and walked out to the living room.

Roz was starting to feel the need time to herself. "Hey Tommy, do you have another shirt that I can wear? I don't feel like being in these shorts all day."

"Sure thing Roz," Tommy said tossing her a shirt as he walked out of the room.

Nikki just stood there with his arms crossed analyzing Roz. Starting to feel a little hot under the collar, she said, "Um Nikki, I don't exactly want an audience while I change."

With a wink and a smirk Nikki left the room. Roz shut the door behind him. Roz started to think as she got her skirt and started to change. *Ok seriously Nikki was being a little weird just now. He didn't act this nice last night at all. Maybe he's just trying to get me rattled.* When she took the shirt off she saw that her whole right shoulder was bruised. *Geez did I fall or something when I blacked out?* Roz did her hair in a messy bun and tied the oversized t-shirt at the waist. Knowing how gross the carpet is, she decided to put her boots on. Once she was satisfied with her clothes, she walked out to the living room to find that Mick had arrived.

"Hey cuz," she said as she skipped in and plopped onto the couch between Mick and Tommy.

"So teen witch, I hear you kicked Vince out of bed. Good job kid." Mick said with a small smile.

Roz laughed, "If he tries anything while I'm asleep I'll treat him like he's an Egyptian being prepared for burial"

Vince looked at her like she had 2 heads, "What the hell does that mean?"

"It means that I would shove a white-hot poker up your nose and scramble your brain before I pull it out through your nose." Roz was having a hard time not laughing at the look on Vince's face. "Weeeeellllll I would actually be more likely to punch or kick someone I'm not expecting to be in my bed."

"So, Roz, what did happen before you appeared?" Tommy asked turning on the couch to look at her.

"Well I was supposed to go to a Harry Potter convention where a bunch of fans get together. That's why I was dressed the way that I was. My friend Katy was supposed to pick me up but she didn't show up so I started to watch a movie. I was fiddling around with my time turner necklace and then a blue light started creeping up my arms. I couldn't drop the necklace. Around the time that it was reaching my head I blacked out. I must have fallen because I have a giant bruise on my right shoulder. Next thing I know I'm under your table."

"What movie were you watching?" Nikki asked.

Roz crinkled her nose, "Why do you care what movie I was watching?"

Nikki scoffed, "Of course I want to know because it might explain why you ended up here of all places."

Roz thought *I can't tell them too much about it. I can't cause some sort of time paradox or change the future. He probably won't believe whatever I say anyways* She took a steadying breath and said, "It was a movie with a killer rabbit, French people throwing cows, horny nuns in a convent, and empty halves of coconuts. I was trying to do some research into the classic problem of what is the air speed velocity of an unladden swallow?"

Nikki snorted, "Well that's bull shit. You were probably watching something lame and embarrassing."

Roz snorted and shook her head, "Of course you just keep on thinking that Nikki. Monty Python and the Holy Grail is just pure awesome, not crazy. Oh and, Vince, my full name is Eva Rozlyn Roberts. I prefer Roz. Also, Nikki decided that I am Mick's cousin. Any questions anyone?"

"Well Roz we might need more of a back story than that. We gotta have a good reason why Mick's adult cousin moved from WI. And probably a good reason why you stay here and not with him." Vince said.

Roz thought for a moment then said, "Well as to the moving states, I guess we could say I'm parentless and that Mick's the only family member I have. As to why I'm here and not with him would be his girlfriend doesn't like me."

"What will you do during the day?" asked Tommy.

"I guess I'll help you guys with stuff around here. Maybe I'll try to get the wand to work. Magic would come in handy cleaning this place up." Roz looked around. She saw trash, broken shit, and burnt cockroaches everywhere.

Nikki watched Roz as she looked around. He thought that she might be a little too tame. With a wicked glint in his eye he asked, "What about when we party? Are you gonna be joining in?"