Yesterday | Seth Clearwater

Chapter 8

I lost, I lost my only friend

There's no telling where it starts

Or where it's gonna end

~ III Spector "My Only Friend"

Seth was running patrol— he did that a lot lately. Sam said that he wasn't ready to go back to school yet, and that even if he was, his sudden growth spurt in such a small amount of time would be too difficult to explain in a way that didn't cause suspicion. Seth thought that was stupid. Everyone already thought they were all on steroids, and it's not like anyone would grill him about how his height and muscle mass had changed in such a small amount of time. Whatever. Running patrol gave him something to do, so he didn't mind it that much. 

Right now he was running the evening patrol with Jared. Seth was focusing on controlling his thoughts— he was terrified to find out what Paul would do if he found out about the true nature of Seth's relationship with Brook, and if one pack member found out, the whole pack would as well. As far as anyone in the pack knew, they were only best friends, and Seth planned to keep it that way. 

So, Seth focused on anything else other than Brooklyn. He focused on the feeling of the breeze flowing through his fur, and the pine needles crunching under his paws. He focused on his family. Seth could tell that Jared was trying to stay out of his thoughts, and he really appreciated that. He could hear and see some of Jared's thoughts, but he tried to ignore them. Seth wasn't really in the mood to talk.

Seth's mind wandered to his father, and his heart twinged. He missed his dad so much... He just wished that he had known that the short conversation they had before breakfast that day would be the last. There were so many things Seth wished he had said to his father, so many things he wished his father had said to him. Seth was still a kid, he wasn't ready to lose his dad. There were so many things he hadn't learned from his father yet. Even more, he was devastated that his father would miss out on all of the things in his and Leah's lives. Like meeting any children or spouses they might have, or their weddings, and countless birthdays. Seth had never celebrated a birthday without his dad, and he wasn't ready to start now. But there was nothing he could do or say that would bring his father back. So, he could only hope that wherever his father was, if he even was somewhere, that he found peace and happiness. 

Seth was worried about his mom— he could tell she was trying to appear strong for her children, but she had all of these newfound responsibilities that came with being a tribal elder. She had taken up the position after his father died. Seth and Leah were old enough to take care of themselves, but their mother still had the added responsibilities of being a single parent. Seth worried that she had too much on her plate, so he was doing his best to help her out around the house. He had begun cooking and cleaning while Sue was at work so that she wouldn't have to worry about it when she came home. She was still planning Harry's funeral, and Seth could tell that it was weighing her down. It hadn't even been a full week since his father died, but he felt years older. He could tell that the rest of his family felt similarly.

While Seth was worried about his mom, he worried about Leah a lot more. She never smiled anymore. Things had been bad since Sam broke up with her, but since the death of their father, she had gotten worse. If Seth hadn't seen into her head firsthand, he wouldn't have even been able to begin to understand how much pain she was in. Not only did Leah feel as if she was responsible for their father's heart attack, but now she had to spend most of her time being bossed around by her ex-boyfriend and watching him fall more and more in love with her cousin everyday. The cousin that Sam had left her for. The whole situation was so fucked up, and Leah couldn't even keep her feelings to herself because the second she thought about it on patrol, the entire pack had found out immediately. Seth was worried that Leah might snap— she was under so much stress, and Seth could practically feel her unhappiness radiating off of her every time he saw her. He knew that Leah felt alone, and he had tried to be a supportive brother, but there are some things that he knew she wasn't comfortable talking about. He could only do so much for Leah— he had started running patrols for her and trading shifts so that she wouldn't have to patrol with Sam. Seth was going through his own stuff.

He missed his best friend, but he couldn't think about that right now. He focused on the smell of the deer that had run through the forest before him. The smell was faint, so he knew that it had been at least an hour since they had run through here. He heard a bird singing a mile away— Seth had the best hearing of anyone in the pack. That's when he heard it.

Her voice. It stopped him in his tracks, and he couldn't even focus on what she was saying. Seth hadn't even realized that he was close enough to her house to hear her. He heard a car door close, and then she was gone. She had gone back inside.

Seth wondered what she had been doing. He used to know what was going on in her life— he used to be in her life. He began running again. This time he couldn't get his mind off of her. He missed her so much, and he was angry that he wasn't allowed to be around her anymore. 

He missed the way they used to laugh and joke. He missed the sound of her laughter, and the way that it always made his days so much better. He could feel Jared listening to his thoughts.

He attempted to force his thoughts away from her. He tried to focus on the way the ground felt under his paws and the smells that surrounded him. He listened to the animals in the forest and the cars on the road several miles out from the forest. 

His thoughts came back to Brooklyn. He missed the way they used to smoke together. She always picked the perfect snacks. He missed having movie nights with her. His mind wandered to the movie they had seen together. That had been a perfect night. He remembered the way her hand fit perfectly in his, and the way she had rested her head in the crook of his neck. He remembered the way her lips had felt against his. Seth missed the way she used to kiss his neck, and rest her head on his bare chest. He longed to feel her skin against his the way he had countless times before. 

It was the sound of Jared Cameron laughing in his head that finally broke him away from his thoughts.

Paul is going to fucking kill you. 

Seth had forgotten Jared was there.

Shit.