It's the beat my heart skips when I'm with you
NANG makita ako ni Kira, kinawayan ko sya agad. Mukha pa nga syang nagulat na makita ako doon pero ako'y tuwang-tuwa sa pagkakita ko sa kanya.
I was half-running, half-walking on my way towards her. Natigil pa nga iyong mga kasabay nyang estudyante nang makita nila ako.
"Uyy, si ma'am!" They all chorused but Kira just shushed them.
"Hi," bati ko sa kanya at sa mga estudyante nya. Parang nakuryente sa kilig iyong isang estudyante.
"Ih! Kaya pala ang blooming ni ma'am! Bati na sila ma'am ng boyfie nya!"
Boyfie? Gusto ko sanang matawa kasi ang baduy ng salitang iyon pero hindi ko mapigilang mamula kasi masarap iyon pakinggan sa tenga. "Ang iingay nyo," saway ni Kira sa kanila. Hindi man lang natakot iyong isa. Then another girl butted in, all with her pink splendor.
"Ano ba," inis na saad nya at pilit na inaalis ang pagkakaakbay ko sa kanya. Nangingiring inalis ko ang braso ko pero ginulo ko naman ang buhok nya. Nakabusangot ang mukha nya pagharap nya sakin. "Ano ba! H'wag mo ngang guluhin ang buhok ko! Twenty minutes ang pagkulot ko nyan!" Saway nya. At that time, I was already laughing dearly.
Ngayon ko lang sya nakitang sobrang pikon, at tuwang-tuwa ako doon. It seems like these past few days, I am starting to see the true Kira, the Kira that she'd been hiding from me before.
Si Kira kasi noon, masyadong... hindi sya. Iyong ngingiti lang kahit na alam mong nasasaktan na sya, iyong tatawa kasi ayaw nyang mahilaw ang joke mo, iyong kahit ayaw ng Red Bull ay umiinom pa rin kasi iyon ang inirekomenda ko. I just wanted her to be her, I wanted her to be real with what she really likes and what she really dislikes. She's so perfect to me then, but I jest felt that something was always missing. I felt that she's always trying to hold herself back, always trying to please me with everything. Whatever I say, she'll always follow suit. She never had her own sense of voice in our relationship and that's one thing I disliked about it.
I mean, if she hates something then she needs to speak up. Kung ayaw nya ng Red Bull then she could just simply demand for me to buy her Black Mamba or Blu. Bibili ako agad-agad, kahit ala-una pa iyon ng umaga. If she feels offended by my friends then I can jeer them back for her. If she wants something then all she has to do is say something and I'll give it to her. If she wanted my time and attention and my everything then I could've given it all to her. I was already giving it all to her but it felt half-good because she doesn't speak up that much.
I wanted to pamper her, but it felt like she was so careful around me. Para nya akong amo, hindi nobyo. I wanted a girlfriend, a girlfriend who could reprimand me, who could tame me, who would fight me for the littlest things and then kiss and make-up after a few minutes. If I wanted someone to only take care of me eh 'di hindi nalang sana ako naghanap ng girlfriend, naghire nalang sana ako ng yaya.
But I want everything from Kira. I enjoyed every minute spent with her kahit na iba iyon sa hinahangad ko, kahit na iba iyon sa nakasanayan ko nuong una. I was genuinely happy, but I had other things in my mind. I wanted Kira to handle me like I'm his boyfriend, lover, and whatever intimate partner she had in mind.
All I needed was her voice on all of those, because a relationship doesn't revolve and go about only one person. It takes two to fucking tango, and if you're alone then you're otherwise just dancing ridiculously and it gets kinda lonely being alone running the game plan that you're supposed to run as a duo.
There were so many instances when I always think that maybe Kira is faking it all but the only thing I can come for that is that Kira isn't a fake, she just loves me too much to even create an issue. Ayaw nya ng gulo, masyado nang maraming nakikigulo sa amin kaya naman ayaw nya na marahil dagdagan pa.
