My Way

Intro

"Lets be honest! It went left because you have more money than him!" River says, and I roll my eyes in annoyance.
"Why are you still dragging this pointless conversation?" I say while standing up.
"Because you have animosity with being expressive!"
"No... I just know when to shut the fuck up so that people like you won't have to keep minding MY business."
"Must you speak to me that way every time you're triggered?" River says while slowly walking towards me.
"I promise... if you let it go.. we'll have far much more to talk about." I lie.
"I can't."
"Why?!"
"Because I know how you are. You will shut everyone out.. including me." She says and I close my eyes to her truth. It burns like hell to hurt my friend. She's the closest thing to me along with my day ones, and we are in fact complete opposites.
I don't know why she loves me as hard as she does because I'm not the sweetest, nor pleasant person.

River was nothing more than love and happiness...

Long story short.
I met Joey...
And everything changed.

"I'm scared.."
"Don't be! I keep it on me." Joey says. We're sitting in my car converting about everything we can think of. I met him at a block party, and we instantly clicked. We've been thirsty for conversation ever since.
"Wish I could say the same... mines is unloaded and hidden away in the house."
"Pointless.. besides.. princesses don't need guns. That's why you've got an animal ... right here."
I start smiling and look away.
He chuckles at my bashful act, and I cringe because he watches me like a hawk.

Joey was the biggest liar I've ever met in my life.

Of course we didn't last. I actually thought that we were inseparable...only to witness that he'd leave me for dead if it came down to it. He brought me the cutest gifts, showered me with affection, and he pretended so well that I started to slowly fall for him. For fucks sake, I'm glad that red flags stand out, because once I saw too many.. he beat me to the chase and freed me first.

The condition was critical because I was still living in a part of me where I firmly believed that fairytales still existed. Then Joey took that away from me. I saw him for the last time, and that was the last time we hugged, kissed, and exchanged sweet words to each other. His warm flesh turned into a ghost, and the rest was history.

I believed that after him, my heart and soul would blacken. I prayed everyday that it would.

Unfortunately, I healed properly by going through the motions. I mean, I've been riding waves since the beginning of heartbreaks and betrayal. This is the first one that really..really fucked me up.

And then I remembered who I was...

Then everything had to go... my way.