Marriage Or Exile

Unfriendly Bed

SWAZILAND, 1943

Sindile felt a sudden excruciating pain in her thigh when she tried to turn in her sleep, she was screaming at the top of her voice when she realized she had been stabbed in the thigh by one of the protruding springs on her bed.  

"I swear to the forefathers this bed is going to stab me to death one of these days" she winced in pain getting out of bed taking a look at her thigh.

It was nothing serious, her thigh just had a tiny bruise. Her heart almost stopped when she realized that the sun was out and she was still in bed.

"Oh No" she felt her head spinning and she placed her palm on the forehead while she turned up facing the thatched roof trying to steady her head from spinning.

Why would mother let me sleep this long? She thought. Her head was throbbing very badly, she shuffled across the room to get a cup of water to drink.

Sindile's everyday routine was pretty straight forward. Her mother, Zuzile Banda always woke her up at exactly 4 am.

The first thing she does upon waking up is make her bed and goes to the Kitchen. The kitchen is a standalone house.

She removes last night's ashes from the fire pit, these ashes are thrown into the pit latrine to make sure it does not stink. 

Then she makes a fire and boil water with the largest three legged pot for the entire family. She cooks sour porridge for breakfast then takes a bath to get ready for school.

Around six she eats breakfast with her brothers Manzemvula and Mongezi and by half past six when the sun is out she would be half way to school by foot.

And then it hit her, yesterday was the last day of school. She just completed her fifth grade. Being a female, this was the end of the journey for her, where education was concerned.

Sindile was nineteen years old, she started school when she was fourteen. Her mother had the talk with her five years ago when she began her first grade.

Her mother told her that she would end her education in fifth grade because the only reason she was going to school was to learn how to read and write, nothing more, nothing less. 

Girls were taught at home by their mothers or grandmothers on how to become good wives who will be able to take care of a home, respect the husband and elders, fetch water and firewood, cook for the family and rear children.

Otherwise in Swaziland the economic value of females is measured in bride price, which is payed to the woman's family by her in-laws after the wedding ceremony usually in the form of cattle.

This is done to strengthen the relationship between the two families involved.

Higher education was reserved for her younger brother Mongezi. Males were usually encouraged to complete their education because only they could be employed in jobs that require qualifications and besides, her family did not have the money nor the resources to cater for everyone's education.

Manzemvula, her older brother had never seen the gates of school, he had dedicated his life into farming which is how they have been able to pay for school so far.

Sindile was lucky enough to be given the opportunity to learn to read and write which is more than her older brother ever got.

Manzemvula took the role of a father to her siblings years ago when it became apparent that their father, Galuja Banda was never coming back home.

Their father left them when Mongezi, their fourteen years old brother was a baby, he wasn't even named yet.

It was a Swazi custom not to name an infant until they were three months old. Before the baby was named, the father was not allowed near that infant or mother. It was a stupid custom, the infant would be called a thing until then.