Complicated (R.S.L/ R5)

Chapter 7

"I... I... Rydel called me over," I stammered, still under the bed.

He frowned and reached out his hand to help me out from underneath his bed. As I crawled out, his eyes flicked to the journal in my hand.

"What were you doing with my journal?" he asked slowly.

I stayed silent, not knowing what to say.

"Did you read it?" he asked.

I still didn't say anything, scared of how he would react. I was used to this, doing something that would anger him, getting hit for it afterwards. This had just become part of my life now. I didn't enjoy it, but I had accepted it. He hated me, and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

"Alyssa. Look at me," he said, slightly softer.

I finally looked up at him, fearing this would be a trap, and he would hit me.

"I'm not angry," he promised.

"How are you not angry? You get mad for the most simple things, and you're not angry that I read your private journal?" I dared to ask.

He sighed and looked at me.

"I'm not that heartless. I wouldn't hit you for everything," he said.

"You shouldn't hit me for anything," I snapped.

His eyebrows raised, and I shrank away from him.

"Anyway, here's your journal," I said, handing it to him.

He took it, but before I could leave, he stopped me.

"How much of it did you read" he asked curiously.

I gulped, not expecting him to ask me that.

"I... I read the entry which was written a few days before... before our argument, and as I flicked through the pages, I obviously saw a few things, and I read an entry from a few days ago," I admitted.

"And none of it hurt you?" he questioned.

I frowned.

"I didn't say that. Obviously some of it hurt me, like how much you hate me. Even though you tell me every day, it still hurts to see that that's what you actually think of me," I said sadly.

He smiled, something I hadn't seen in a long time. He reached out with his hand and brushed his thumb over my cheek, staring deep into my eyes.

"I... I don't completely hate you," he whispered.

"You don't?" I asked, shocked.

"No," he said, before crashing his lips onto mine.

I was shocked, beyond shocked. I had no clue how to react.

"Please... kiss me back," he mumbled on my lips.

My lips finally started moving along with his and I felt him smile, which started to turn into a smirk. He pulled back and smiled wickedly.

"Wow... just as I think you can't get any more pathetic, you prove me wrong each time. You actually believed I wasn't angry at you?" he asked, practically in hysterics.

"Wha... you just kissed me?" I said, unable to form any coherent thoughts.

"Yeah, and you actually believed I liked you. Wow," he said, cracking up, before his eyes turned darker. "Don't ever make the mistake of thinking I like you, understood?" he hissed.

I nodded, my eyes filling up with tears. He had just been my first kiss, after years of hating me, and then he tells me that he was just playing me the whole time.

"I won't ever make that mistake, if you don't ever kiss me again, you understand?" I said, tears falling down my face.

He scoffed.

"Don't worry, I have no plans to. And if you dare to go through my diary again, I swear to God," he threatened.

"You don't worry about that either. You won't have to see me ever again," I cried, before moving back to the window and climbing out, before running onto the roof and into my room.

Screw seeing Rydel. I just needed to be on my own for a while. I ran into my bathroom and stared in the mirror at myself. I looked like a wreck. I had tears on my face, slightly swollen lips and bruises on my face.

I turned the tap on and splashed water on my face, trying to forget what had just happened. He kissed me. He kissed me. He said he hated me, that he would never even like me, so then why did he kiss me?

I laughed at my own stupidity. He didn't kiss me because he liked me. He kissed me to hurt me, which he succeeded at incredibly well. So if my life was just going to be filled with pain, then why bother living? There were medicines in my house, I knew that much. Besides, I didn't need that many. As long as there were a few paracetamol packets, it would be enough.

I rushed downstairs and into the kitchen to try and find the packets of tablets. I pulled open drawers, until I finally found them. I got a large glass of water, before taking both of them upstairs. I started the tap to fill the bathtub as I slowly took the pills, one by one.

With each pill I took, the level of water in the bathtub rose. I finally got through both packets and climbed into the bathtub and turned the tap off. Slowly, I started feeling dizzy, before the darkness started to greet me. The last thing I remembered was my body slipping into the water, cutting off any room for me to breathe, a perfect way to end this suffering.

So quick update because I felt inspired. Did anyone think that they were actually going to make up? Ahaha, if you did, don't worry, I'm not that nice. But anyway, Vote and Comment!