The Big Bang (Mashton) ✔️

Stage Sixteen

hello! sorry for the late update. i want to start updating better but you know how that goes...

anywhos, chapter 16 right here! thanks for reading and what-not! i will be updating hopefully 2-3 times soon! yay!

bye now!

{read-over edited}

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<Ashton's POV>

When I had woke up, Michael was against my side cuddling his face into my neck. He was still asleep, his breath fanning my neck. His hair was all messed up and his body was curled up next to mine.

He looked adorable.

Michael's eyes opened slowly, I smiled at him. "Good morning."

"Morning." He yawned tiredly but didn't move at all. "Did you sleep well?"

"Better yes. Thank you."

He smiled sleepily. "You're welcome."

His phone started ringing and he moved out of bed to answer it. My skin got goosebumps from the cold air and the lost if Michael's body heat.

"Hey."

He started walking around the room, talking on the phone to whoever it was. I stayed in bed, and watched him.

"It's Kacie." Michael told me. I mentally rolled my eyes but nodded and decided to lay back down.

How come he was so caught up in Kacie? What does she have that I don't?

Maybe cause she's a girl and your a guy.

But he's into guys too...

He's lying.

No. He'd never...

How do you know?

He said his first kiss was a guy...

So? He could not be into them anymore.

My mind made a pretty valid point. He could not be into guys and I might just be freaking him out.

But why would he cuddle with me if he was freaked out?

He feels sorry for you. That's why.

I heard the door open and Michael left. Great, I'm alone with my fucked up thoughts again.

He doesn't like you. He won't ever love you. You're a emotional mess that he would have to clean up. He probably doesn't want too.

But he said he would be there for me and help me...

He's lying to you. He'll do it over and over again. He's lying.

No-

He's lying. He's lying. He's lying to you Ashton! Wake up and realize it! He's playing you like everyone else did! He's messing with your head for his own amusement! Fucking wake up! HE'S LYING!

NO!

I clamped my hands over my ears, feeling tears roll down my cheeks.

He wouldn't do that!

But he is Ashton...he already is. He doesn't like you. No one will ever like you. Who would like a pathetic excuse for a person? A boy who's not man enough to come out as gay? A boy who cries more than anything? Face it, you're worthless.

You know what? Fine...I guess I am.

Before I knew it, I was sitting in the bathroom. My razor sitting in front of me. Testing me...my fingers lingered and touched its smooth edges.

One action. One line. And this could be all over...

I was close. So close.

"Ashton?" Michael questioned in the empty room. He was back... "Ashton?"

Light suddenly poured in, and there was a shadow. I was so close to seeing the red. I was so fucking close.

"Ashton!"

<Michael's POV>

I had just left for a few minutes, but that's all it took for something to snap inside of Ashton.

I found him on the floor of the bathroom about to cut. He said he wanted to stop. He does it's just his mind. It gets addicting and you can't seem to stop.

"Ashton!" I rushed towards him and moved the blade away from his view, wrapping my arms around him. He didn't move just sat there numb to all of this. He was crying slightly but kept quiet.

"I-I'm sorry." He whispered.

"No, I'm sorry. I wasn't here for you and I told you I would be. But everything's okay right now. You're fine, you're with me."

After a few minutes I took Ashton back to bed and tucked him in. He then feel asleep and I smiled down at him.

Why do I do this? I'm dating Kacie...but I'm using her. Why not just tell him that you like him?

That's something I wish I could do...