Pinky promise? (Seulrene)

08 - Everything Has Changed

Irene turns off her bedroom lights and walks over to her bed; she sighs and lies down on it. The first day of high school is really tomorrow. She closes her eyes and tries to fall asleep. Her mind was buzzing with thoughts about what her day would be like tomorrow and the events that happened today. That wasn't all she was thinking about; all of her thoughts involved Seulgi in one way or another. Realizing she wouldn't be able to fall asleep so easily, she sits up and walks across the room to turn her lights on.

Writing has always helped me organize all of my thoughts, so I guess I should do that. She sits on her swivel chair and gets out a piece of blank paper and her favorite pink ballpoint pen. Where do I even start? I'll just try to write all of my feelings down.

She starts writing.

A few days ago, Wendy and I were hanging out in her house. Of course, I was excited to see Wendy, but it felt like I haven't seen Seulgi in such a long time, and I was thrilled that I would be seeing her.

When I arrived at her house, I did see Seulgi, but she was leaving. She claimed that she needed to exercise. I told her that she had cross country practice earlier and that it wasn't necessary, plus I wanted to hang out with her. Sadly, she insisted and left Wendy and I alone.

Maybe Seulgi didn't want to be a third wheel, so that's why she left us alone? Anyway, that day Wendy wanted to get out of her comfort zone. I told her that I've gone up on my rooftop many times just to relax. This intrigued her, so we decided that we would go on her roof for a few hours. We got a few blankets, and plenty of snacks.

We went to her attic, and there was a ladder that took us up to the roof. We put our blankets down, set the snacks besides us, and laid down. Honestly, I don't exactly remember what we were talking about. Most likely it had something to do with our hopes, dreams, fears, and goals in life. The conversation didn't last for that long though; Wendy fell asleep after 15 minutes. I think she has dance practice earlier that day; she must have been very tired.

I was up on her rooftop while she was sleeping next to me, and I was alone with my thoughts. This is never good, as I always overthink everything. I attempted to make myself fall asleep, but I failed. My mind was too busy with all of my scrambling thoughts.

I remember that I thought about my relationship with Wendy. I mean, not too many people know that we are dating. Obviously Seulgi, Joy, and Yeri know; that's it. I think Wendy has told a few of her friends at her dance studio, but nobody else who goes to our school knows about it. How will kids react on the first day of school? Will they make fun of us because we aren't straight? I've only associated with kids who are nice, but what if there are some jerks in high school? Wendy and I haven't even discussed if we are going to tell people in our school about our relationship. I think eventually we will have to; we can't hide it for that long.

I know I definitely thought about how Wendy and I haven't had our first kiss. I mean, we are only 9th graders; are we supposed to kiss? But we haven't even kissed each other on the cheeks. Technically, we have before, but just as friends. The whole concept of being in a relationship is still new to us. Both of us really don't know how to act, and it's still a bit awkward. We are definitely still good friends; it just feels different. I don't regret asking her out, but maybe I should have waited. Are either of us even ready for a relationship?

Lastly, I thought about Seulgi. Oh, Kang Seulgi. Just hearing her name makes me feel content. She's my best friend; she knows my deepest and darkest secrets. I thought I knew all of hers, but maybe I'm wrong. Ever since I started dating Wendy, she has become extremely distant. At first, I really thought she was doing this to make me happy. I know she deeply cares for me, but I am far from being happy.  I'm kind of angry that she's keeping her distance from me. Honestly, I don't know what I want. I know why she isn't talking to me as much, but I miss her.