Five Feet Apart

Chapter 11; its just medicine

Your POV

The next morning

When I opened my eyes, the first thing I saw was Poe tried to wake us up.
„Poe what's up?", I asked tired and Will woke up too.
„Barb just arrived and her shift will begin in five minutes so hurry up you naked love birds or she will Kill both of you", he insisted and I remembered what happened last night.
„Oh my god", I whispered.
„Uhm yeah... gi-give me my shorts and shirt", I commanded and that's what he did.

Poe left and I put on my clothes.
Will was half sleeping and he just looked confused.
„Uhm so I will take my meds and take a shower. I see you later.", I said and when I jumped out of the bed, my legs failed. I fell on the ground.
„Oh hell are you okay?", will asked als helped me to stand up.
„Yes, my legs are just still sleeping", I mumbled, knew where this weakness came from.
I walked like someone put a knife into my vagina.
Will grinned and I just gave him a warning look.

I took my meds and a shower, put on some Make-up and some sweatpants with a shirt.
The pain wasn't so bad anymore.
I'm really asking myself, if I was good enough.
I mean, my moans probably sounded unattractive, how my body looked? Pretty ugly I guess.
Sadness and shame took place in my body.
I sat on my bed, tears came up.

It was 8am now and now it's time for breakfast.
My hunger is away and I'm asking myself what I am still doing here. I mean, Will could do so much better.
He's so beautiful and I love him so much.
But he can do so much better.

I need a clear mind, so I decided to go for a walk.
It was still dark and cold, so I put on a jacket and Uggs.
When I was outside, the cold hit my skin. But I didn't care. I went trough a park. I sat on a small bridge and looked into the sky.
It was quiet, and I was alone with my thoughts.
It's not worth it, y/n.
You're not worth it.
I'M not worth it.

Tears streamed down my face.
Just do it, loser.
I reached into my jacket and got the sleeping pills out. I stole them at the beginning of the week so it wouldn't attract attention. In case I can't sleep.
But now.
I opened it and stared at them for a while, then put one in mouth and swallowed it.
Then more and more, till I couldn't swallow it anymore.

I hope this wasn't a bad idea.

A/n: I hope you like the new chapter.
A comment would be very motivating
Love y'all 🥰🥰